"Croc Hunter" Steve Irwin Facts

Steve Irwin facts

Steve Irwin didn't die. It's just a trick and he is going to help get
Jack Bauer from the Chinese.

Steve Irwin isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Steve Irwin.

Foster's Beer is actually Steve Irwin's fermented piss.

Steve Erwin and Big Foot were pretty good friends, professional jealousy
aside.

Steve Irwin will return to save the world from global warming by
wrestling it to the ground and hogtying it.

I once heard that a man came up to Steve to ask advice how to write a
letter to a bully that was picking on his group of friends. After hours
of talk, writing, and laughs, they finished. A couple months later that
man came back to him and thanked him, the letter had worked. That man
was Thomas Jefferson, and that letter was Declaration of Independence.

When King Kong goes trick-or-treating, the only costume he can wear
convincingly is Steve Irwin..

Steve Irwin invented the nervous system just so people could feel pain.

The largest snake Steve Irwin ever tamed was his own ***.

Steve Irwin once dug to China just to get some fresh egg rolls. It only
took him 37 minutes.

Steve Irwin knew the truth about the Moon Landings.

Steve Irwin ate nails for breakfast and ripped trees out of the ground
for fun.

The 1999 sci-fi action film The Matrix was actually a metaphor for Steve
Irwin.

Steve Irwin once went to a baseball game and ordered a hot dog--then
accidentally consumed the Oscar Meyer? Weinermobile!! THE FUCKING
WEINERMOBILE!!! ITS NOT EVEN MADE OF HOT DOG!!!!

Steve Irwin got mad about the animals dying from global warming. So he
repaired the ozone layer...with his fucking *** (this "fact" is
currently under dispute).

Once, Steve Irwin climbed the EMPIRE FUCKING STATE BUILDING, and was
swatting at fucking AIRPLANES just to protect the woman he loved. Oh
wait, no that was King Kong. Steve Irwin was that guy who played with
animals on TV. nevermind.

One time Steve Irwin was an entire baseball team and he was playing
against the Yankees and when he walked out to the plate, his practice
swing was so forceful that it made all the Yankees heads explode and
they were forced to declare the win to STEVE IRWIN.

Steve Irwin shits lightning and cries thunder.

For breakfast Steve Irwin would eat a bowl of shreddies, an apple and a
glass of orange juice. Well, I guess he was pretty average in that capacity.

Steve Irwin once made a crocodile sandwich with dried peppercorns,
sun-dried sweet potato, and a chipotle mayo: Steve Irwin was a fantastic
chef.

The Michigan Tribe of Chippewa Indians has a legend, The legend says
that there was a Giant Crocodile basking in what was the area between
Michigan and Wisconsin, However, Steve Irwin Rastled and Hogtied the
croc in order to protect the Chippewa maiden Sacajawaya, the croc died,
the space that remained is now lake Michigan and Tears from Steve
Irwin?s Grief over the death of the croc filled it.

Steve Irwin?s death means the truth about the Kennedy assassination can
now be revealed.

Steve Irwin raised millions of dollars for environmental conservation.

Steve Irwin's movie "Crocodile Hunter-Collision Course" Grossed a record
$843.00 its opening weekend. Not bad considering it was only on 1874
screens nationwide.

Steve Irwin once made an Elephant forget.

Every time you jerk-off, Steve Irwin kills a crocodile. Not because you
jerked-off; that's just how often he kills crocodiles.

Steve Irwin wasn't born in the womb - he thought that was for pussies.

The best weapon in Halo 2 is Steve Irwin.

One time Steve Irwin was walking along the beach and found a genie. He
gave the genie three wishes. The genie wished it was Steve Irwin. Three
times.

Steve Irwin once mated with a crocodile and had a child. That child grew
up to be Chuck Norris.

When Steve Irwin swims with sharks, the steel cage is not there to keep
Steve Irwin safe from the sharks. It is there to keep the sharks safe
from Steve Irwin.

After Crocodile Dundee pulled out a knife and said the famous line
"That's not a knife, this is a knife", the only reason people were
scared was because Steve Irwin was standing right behind him.

When Steve Irwin plays monopoly, he collects free parking no matter what
square he lands on. When he draws the 'Go Directly to Jail' card, he
just laughs and rips it up. No one questions him. No one.

Steve Irwin's favorite drink is GATORade.

When Steve Irwin approached the Gates of Hades, he took the giant
3-headed dog, grabbed it, wrestled it to the ground, beat it into
submission and hog tied it. Then, he let the pissed off dog go free and
did it all again for fun. Thirty-Seven times.

If you don't know who your real father is, it's Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin wrote Beowulf.

Aussie band Savage Garden will perform at Croc Hunters funeral. First
choice was Sting but was decided inappropriate.

When Steve Irwin was a child, his friends were skipping stones out on
the lake. Steve Irwin thought that game was stupid, so he picked up the
biggest rock he could find and hurled it into the sky. That rock is now
called The Moon.

Steve Irwin once got a blowjob from a crocodile. After that no woman was
ever able to compare, no matter how toothy the BJ was.

Steve Irwin was killed when his heart was pierced by a deadly sting ray.
The stingray was also killed when, in his final living action, Steve
Irwin took revenge on the stingray by piercing its heart with his penis.

Steve Irwin and the Grizzly Man once double teamed a bear. Steve took
the front and Grizzly took the back. They Eiffel towered the bear.

Tom Cruise believes in Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin died as he lived, with animals firmly in his heart.

As a child, Steve Irwin played hungry hungry hippos... with real hippos.

One time, Steve Irwin went to the bar to play a game of pool. Upon
arrival at the bar, he saw it wasn't a real pool. There was no water,
and definately no crocodiles. In his confusion and rage, he killed
everyone including a crocodile. Which is impossible, until you remember
this *IS* Steve Irwin.

Steve Irwin once rewrote the complete works of William Shakespeare with
ink from a giant squid. When he was done writing he killed and ate the
squid for breakfast.

During the 1992 Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain Steve Irwin
successfully stopped the bulls from running and replaced them with
himself, accidentally killing two American tourist in his lone stampede.




.