Re: TAN H&R Block Ad

On Jan 30, 7:36 pm, Rthrquiet <rthrqu...@xxxxxxx> wrote:
On Jan 30, 5:32�pm, DonnaB shallotpeel <shallotp...@xxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

But, besides just not finding ELR to be at all funny,

I don't either. I haven't watched many episodes; usually when I see
it, it's because it's on somewhere like the barber shop or gym.

That's funny. That's where I have seen most of my ELRs too...7 pm at
the gym. But I just laugh my ass off when he's on, so that's
embarrassing.

My
reaction has generally been not to understand why Ray and his brother
put up with parents who treat them like morons, and especially why
Ray's wife puts up with any of it. Consequently, I can't stay
interested for very long. People who stay willingly in abusive
situations without making a real effort to get out just don't hold my
interest.

Ah, see, I live far far away from that parent/in-law generation. But
suffice it to say that I have VERY VERY VERY VERY close resemblance in
their personalities and behavior and control needs to ELR's parents.

For me, this show is (exaggerated) a bullseye. It parodies a certain
kind of ethnic sensibility (not Italian just...I've seen it in
friends' families who are Indian, German, Irish, etc.). I have LIVED
aspects of ELR's life...so I find it rip snortingly funny.


I
don't find it to be truthful either. There have only ever been a very very
few people in my life who were so negative & nasty and most, if not all, of
them have been easily pushed to the sidelines or off the playing field of my
life entirely. The only one that has been really difficult to do something
about is a truly toxic parent/parent-in-law who has had firm boundaries
placed around them, although they usually shoot themselves in the foot
anyway. And, their mode of toxicity is nothing at all like Ray's or
Deborah's or Ray's family!

Oh, what a different life you've had. My whole being is shaped,
positively and negatively, by that level of toxicity.

I just buried and older relative, and was asked to do her eulogy. It
was a very funny, entertaining eulogy. Because it was tales of her
toxicity and control. (Yes, that CAN be funny if pitched right, as
ELR demonstrates to me).

I'm going to go balls to the walls here and say it this way: Michael,
you've said in the past that you're an "out" gay man. That takes
enormous, enormous strength. Seriously...superhuman for a man of your
generation (or RH's). [I'm not just singling out those two...just
using them as examples]. To do that, you EITHER had a very supportive
clan, or a super-human ability to excise toxicity and control from
your life. This would explain, perhaps, why you've not experienced
Marie and Frank so much.

I'm here to say, Marie and Frank are REAL to me. I can point them out
to you. (I'm also the one who can point out Victor Newman. They all
live in my old neighborhood and populate my family gatherings. Which
may be why I don't go to too many gatherings any more :-]).


Like you, I try to avoid these kinds of people in real life and am
generally successful in doing so. Why would I *choose* to spend time
with them on my TV screen?

Well, actually, what brings me back to Raymond is the love and
likeability just beneath all that.

But, I also loved the Sopranos, which told a similar story. Tony
Soprano repeatedly said garbage like "If you can't trust family, who
can you trust?". His mother and uncle tried to kill him. He killed
several cousins...

The Sopranos was also, to me, dead true. Those are the levels of
inconsistency in people's ways of thinking...love 'em AND hate
'em...that populate the world I live in.

A few days ago, Shirl and I talked about family caregiving, and how
you do it out of love not obligation.

That's where I am. I've seen such control, I am so connected with how
many toxic expectations can exist. So, to free myself from that, I
have to make my family interactions volitional...I do what I choose to
do. If I allow myself to fall into the trap of expectation and
obligation and family control...I'm living across the street from the
Barones :-).


Now, "Designing Women," I loved. I thought it hit just the right note
of warmth vs. hostility without veering too often into schmaltz. And
not *every* *single* laugh was based on putting somebody else down,
which is what I find I just can't take about most sitcoms I see today.

I hated that one. Only found it boring. Maybe the putdowns make me
laugh.


I'd love to find a sitcom I could get into. God knows I need something
that can really make me laugh; that would be great. But I've resigned
myself to the fact that sitcoms have moved on to another place, and
it's a place I'm not going to want to be. Sort of like the soaps.

Thursday night on NBC.

For me, what I like are (primetime scripted and current) is below. I
can't watch all of these, or I'd have no life. So, some get time
shifted, some get caught up obn DVD, some get watched sporadically.
This is sort of a ranked list, I guess

The Wire
Brothers and Sisters
Doctor Who
Breaking Bad
Lost
Torchwood
Office
Mad Men
Pushing Daisies
ER
24
Desperate Housewives
Scrubs
My Name is Earl
Dirty Sexy Money (kinda...not yet into it)
.

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