Re: ATWT Is Carly as Stupid as I Think She Is? (spoilerish)

(Thanks, Karen. I will forever respect my dd's mom because she loved
dd enough to put her needs before her own. I watched her with dd in
the hospital, and she is maternal as they come, and was a complete
natural with her. That made it all the more heartbreaking when she
placed her in my arms, choosing me to be the one to experience the joy
she would love to have of raising her. We moms all say we would do
anything for our children. What she did, to me, is almost unspeakable
in its maturity and grasp of what it really means to be a mother. I
don't deserve any congratulations for recognizing what would be obvious
to anyone who'd had my experience--but it's always nice to hear a kind
word. Thank you. :-))

I don't know if this point helps any, but when you adopt, you are
required to inform the agency whom would care for your child should
anything happen to you. Is this the guardianship to which Carly refers
or is she remembering something Rosana said to her when she was raising
Cabot? I missed that episode.

Of course, like any decent person, Rosana would want the baby to go
back to her mother, Jen, who'd not placed her child for adoption. But,
back when she was signing papers, she wouldn't list Gwen as an option
because Gwen had made the choice not to raise her child. Just like a
non-adoptive mom, Rosana would choose a guardian for her baby from her
family members or friends.

As I stated before, who knows what laws govern Oakdale, but one thing
is consistent across the U.S.: if Gwen has only signed a consent for
Rosana to adopt the baby, and the consent revokation period--which can
be a few days or a few months--has not ended, she doesn't even need a
lawyer. She just goes to the agency and says she wants her kid back.
In some states there is no consent revokation period; the birthmom
signs papers within 48 hours or so after birth relinquishing all legal
rights. At any rate, the effect is the same whether a consent
revokation period has ended, or relinquishment papers are signed: the
agency retains legal custody of the child until the adoption is
finalized in court and the birthmom retains no legal rights to the
baby. In our case, that took almost a year, but in some states
adoptions are finalized in a week. Before then, at any time the agency
could decide we were not good parents and place our dd with another
family. For a few months after placement, they perform a home visit to
ensure the child is safe and then they meet with you a couple of times
in their office. After those visits have ended, you're pretty much
home free. In the case of our demise, we told them who we'd like to
raise our dd, but they still could choose to place her elsewhere in
that event. Since the agency is in the business of protecting the best
interests of children, of course they would choose to place the child
with people she knows, or who know her adoptive parents intimately. We
never had any fears that the agency would swoop in at any time. That
just isn't done.

Once the adoption has been finalized legally in court, the adoptive
parents retain full legal custody and all rights to raise the baby as
though he or she were born to them. If the adoption of Gwen's baby has
been finalized, she has as much chance of suing for custody as a
stranger, because the baby has already become a part of another family,
legally. Gwen may be upset about Rosana's condition and hate Carly,
but legally, if she's relinquished the child, his well-being is the
responsibility of the adoption agency if there has been no
finalization. If the adoption has been finalized, the decision of
guardianship was fully in Rosana's hands as his mother, and she chose
Carly.

I don't know if I added to the discussion. :-) This story is a bit
complex--kudos to the writers--so I thought I'd add my 2¢ based on my
own experience.

Annie

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