Re: My official introduction

Previously on "Boston Legal", Jeffrey Johnson wrote:
>billfl@xxxxxxxxxx (Bill Livingston) wrote:
>>Previously on "Dancing With the Stars", Jeffrey Johnson wrote:
>>>billfl@xxxxxxxxxx (Bill Livingston) wrote:
>>>>Previously on "The West Wing", Jeffrey Johnson wrote:
>>>>>Umm...Gremlins!
>>>>
>>>>Correct! "Thith is the latht time I work with thomeone with a
>>>>thpeech impediemnt!"
>>>
>>>Oh, wait! Wasn't that the Looney Tunes crossover featuring Sylvester
>>>and Elmer Fudd?
>>>
>>>And now, a little tidbit for those of you who watched the Reform Party
>>>"convention" in 1996: "Wadies and gentwemen, I pwesent to you the
>>>next Pwesident of the United States...Woss...Pawoe!"
>>
>>BIGGUS EARUS?!?
>
>Yes, and his wife Incontinentia Tympanum.

She can't hear worth crap.

>>>>>>Wait, hold on, just what are you implying - there are *other*
>>>>>>newsgroups?!? That's just a cruel myth, and I'm surprised to find
>>>>>>someone with a doctorate espoussing such twaddle!
>>>>>
>>>>>I know for a fact there are others. <whispers> I've been to one.
>>>>
>>>>Proof, man! Where's the proof?! More than likely, you just saw a
>>>>weather balloon or some swamp gas or an alien from Reticulii -
>>>>something simple and explainanble.
>>>
>>>Oh, yeah? Well, you could totally find my posts on Google if I hadn't
>>>checked x-no-archive!
>>
>>Oh dear, I had no idead the situation had gotten this bad. Please at
>>least tell me you don't hodl with those "Crosspost Circle" theories.
>
>Those crosspost-circles are timestamped down the millisecond! I tell
>you, they're too precise for anything but computer technology!

Oh c'mon - Mellie confessed to making them with trained sheep!

>>>>>>>Do they ever! How about a Portobello and Chardonnay Risotto and
>>>>>>>Haricots Verts in Belgian Cream?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Hey, that's pretty good! What's this thinly sliced meat with it?
>>>>>>It's so savory and tender.
>>>>>
>>>>>It's, erm, it's...tofu!
>>>>
>>>>Wow, they can do wonders with that stuff. Say, you ought to get the
>>>>calves in here and let them try it. Where are they, anyway?
>>>
>>>The calves? Why, I slaughtered them and hauled them off to the
>>>butcher's last week. This could be them, for all we know!
>>>
>>>Ha! Just kidding, they went down to the diner to get a milkshake. Now,
>>>eat your tofu.
>>
>>A - a MILKSHAKE?!? Sweer Mother of Mitchell, what are you doing to
>>these poor impressionable bovines' minds? At long last, have you no
>>sense of decency?!?
>
>Well, you know kids. They're going to find a way to experiment with
>udders whether you like it or not. At least this way I know the milk
>has been pasteurized.

But - but what if someone tries to use the milk to get them to try
half-and-half? Or worse, heavy cream?

>>>>>>>Right.
>>>>>>><sighs>
>>>>>>><rolls Jonah's eyes>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Move two spaces.
>>>>>
>>>>>I landed on Noah. That means I get to take a RATMM Chest card!
>>>>>Let's see...Pay Cascade Tax - $15! Shoot!
>>>>
>>>>Okay, my turn. Let's see - loosk like I've landed on Newsgroup
>>>>Chance - "You Make $75 from sale of Moxie". Sweet! (yet tart)
>>>
>>>Hey! You took my turn! I rolled doubles last time! Gimme those.
>>><rolls> Hah! Snake eyes again! That puts me on the Chateau Fontenot -
>>>I'll buy it. And I get ANOTHER turn. <rolls> Snake eyes...durn!
>>>Doubles three times in a row! Right into the killfile.
>>
>>Oops, too bad. Well, that means it *is* my turn - let's see. Ah.
>>"Julia's Ceramics"! I can buy that, and I'll build a theater there.
>
>OK, I'm going to change my e-mail address to get out of the killfile and
>roll. Woo-hoo! I landed on Free Posting (via Google Groups)!

Lucky. Okay, let's see - aw man! "Meat Mick Spock! Pay $100 Annoyance Fee!"

>>>>>>>So...if they really don't belong to anybody, nobody will miss them,
>>>>>>>right?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Goodness knows I haven't. In fact, I haven't missed them several
>>>>>>times.
>>>>>
>>>>>Yeah, I've noticed. How come you only ever watch the first four
>>>>>minutes?
>>>>
>>>>It's my Heart Condition.
>>>
>>>Oh, I thought you were just putting them in while you were applying
>>>your Just For Men.
>>
>>Well, yes. That's what caused the Heart Condition in the first place.
>>That and repeated exposure to Ann & Nancy Wilson.
>
>I knew I should Never have left you Alone with those two.

Well, try to understand - I'm a magic man.

>>>>>>>>>>>>Bill L.
>>>>>>>>>>>>At least according to John Maynard Keynes' Theory of Reciprical
>>>>>>>>>>>>Lingerie
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>JSJ1TG, I'm sure that's a more interesting read than Maynard
>>>>>>>>>>>Keenan's The Rise of Arizona Bay.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>Bill L.
>>>>>>>>>>Briefly so, yes.
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>JSJ1TG, Golly gee-string enough letters together and *anybody* can
>>>>>>>>>be an author!
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>Bill L.
>>>>>>>>Especially these days, thongs to self-publishing.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>JSJ1TG, I have no idea how those kind of books are maid - inform me,
>>>>>>>would you?
>>>>>>
>>>>>>Bill L.
>>>>>>You have to go to Oklahoma or, if you really want to Play,Tex-as.
>>>>>
>>>>>JSJ1TG, Forget Texas - I went all the way to Casablanca, but I'm afred
>>>>>Rick's is closed.
>>>>
>>>>Bill L.
>>>>Really? That makes you kinda stop and wonder,bra-ther.
>>>
>>>JSJ1TG, yeah, the Nazis must have been Victorious. He crit-icized them
>>>too often, you know.
>>
>>Bill L.
>>Oh, you garter be kidding!
>
>JSJ1TG, No joke! Not only the Moroccans, but the French made out
>fit-fully badly.

Bill L.
Good thing we were there to give them a little bustier us!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
billfl@xxxxxxxxxx http://home.hiwaay.net/~billfl

"If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. And if you're smart,
surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you."
Isaac Jaffee (Robert Guillaume), "Sports Night"
.

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