Re: Announcing my new Sci-fi Book

Gutless Umbrella Carrying Sissy <taustinca@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Tina_Hall@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Tina Hall) wrote
Gutless Umbrella Carrying Sissy <taustinca@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Tina_Hall@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (Tina Hall) wrote
Gutless Umbrella Carrying Sissy <taustinca@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

There's a new version on the air. It seems to consist mostly of
fart jokes and assholes commiting crimes against unsuspective
victims.

The one I've come across (the German version), has people
displaying their supposed talent, while a jury watches, and
once one of them is fed up, he or she gets up and hits the
gong.

That's basically the premise of the original, yes. The devil is
in the details.

I got that much. :)

It is not, in any way, even remotely based on the original. The
closest thing around today is the audition round of America's
Got Talent (which has, or rather, shows, more real talent, but
that's the point).

We've got a version of that, too (a clone of the USA original, I
assume). I forgot what it's called. Something like The
Supertalent? Doesn't matter.

Britain has one, too. I have no idea how similiar they are, since
the "gong show" stuff on the US version probably doesn't appeal
as much to most other audiences.

Lots of USA stuff swaps over the pond and does find an audience,
though. (Like tons of TV series.)

There are two similar shows that are actually interesting.

One is 'Germany's Best Idea' or something like that. People come
in presenting their inventions of stuff that doesn't yet exist.
So far one of three jury members gets to judge the merrit of
that alone, all three busy with their share of applicants (in
the next round they get to present it to all three). A few
times I've already said "I want that". Shows some interesting
creativity, not so much idiots.

We have "Pitchmen," which is hosted by Billy Mays, who is
instantly recognizable as the guy who does the annoying
commercials for a product called Oxyclean. He basically only has
one volume settings (in front of the camera - he's not like that
otherwise), and that is 11 (which is to say, as loudly as he can
shout).

:)

Someone once kindly explained the phrase "all the way to 11" to me.

The idea being that he and his partners are lookign for products
to sell in "direct market TV ads" - he's hooked up with the "As
Seen On TV" guys for the show." They do find some interesting
products.

Never heard about anything like it, so it's hard to imagine what
it's like. (Doesn't help that I don't know who or what the "As Seen
On TV" guys are.)

We've just got a few shows (and entire channels) that try to sell
worthless trinkets for tons of money. They're good to switch past,
look at the price, and laugh at whoever does order the junk.
(Otherwise I evade commercials as best I can.)

The other is Mascerade (they spell it that way), where people in
costumes imitate situations, including playing the backround
(like waves, or whatever), and possibly no actual people
(anyone acting a person) present in the act. Some of that also
shows some interesting creativity.

Of course there are more casting shows for topmodels and
popstars and stuff, but I don't care about them. That's just
more idiots volunteering to show how stupid they are, and the
best of that is found in the mentioned German Superstar thing.

The newest one (not even on the air yet) for us is one in which
contestants basically stalk celebrities. This show could not
happen anywhere but Hollywood without someone being killed by a
bodyguard.

Heh. Crazy place.

(On the other hand, IIRC, "Jackass" managed to get sued before
they even aired the first episode.)

I did wonder whether actual stalking isn't, well, criminal stalking,
and can get people arrested. Incitement to do something criminal is,
here at least, criminal, too. (Not that I agree; people are
responsible for their own actions.)

(I assume that "Jackass" is the producer, host, or whatever
responsible person for the show.)

You have no sense of adventure.

Nope.

I prefer to spend my free time in a manner I find entertaining.
Adventure is not it.

You're no fun at all.

Sorry. I'll bow my head in shame and reatreat to polish your boots
with my hair.

I've long advocated that all telephones should have high
voltage in them, with me controlling the on/off switch.

LOL.

I'm not sure I'd trust you with my life. :)

Your wishes do not enter in to the equation.

Yeah, that's why I wouldn't trust you. <g>

Indeed. It just doesn't matter.

Because the world is not quite crazy enough to give you the switch?
<g>

(I'm too much of a realist to presume I'd never say something
truly daft and thus earn you hitting the switch.)

Oh, but truly daft is entertaining. The stupider you are, the
more I laugh at you. The only sin is being boring.

Right, I don't get any say in the actual goal, I got that. (My
goal would be getting rid of the stupid people.)

That sounds like an excellent way to be stupid in an entertaining
way, actually. We could make a reality show about it.

Someone would have to pay me a lot more money than anyone would be
willing to pay to get me to voluntarily appear on TV.

And for the entertainment of some idiots at that. I'd much rather do
duckshooting with them instead. They're the ducks rowed up on a
string, like on fairs, just incase there's any doubt.

(Letting me do that would lower the price to show it on TV to
something affordable, at that. Only it would have to include a
general "no going to jail" card.)

--
"I know what you're thinking." - "You do?"
She nodded. "I'm wise now." - "What happened to big?"
"Everyone's big." -- Nachey and Dener, Magic Earth V
Excerpts at: <http://home.htp-tel.de/fkoerper/ath/athintro.htm>
.