Re: Verse in sf

On Tue, 16 Aug 2005 16:38:38 -0400, "Ron Henry"
<ronhenry@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

>"Peter Huebner" <no.one@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
>news:MPG.1d6cb6494313d65b9898e7@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
>> In article <MSGID_2=3A240=2F2199.13=40fidonet_337dcf3a@xxxxxxxxxxx>,
>> Tina_Hall@xxxxxxxxxxx says...
>>> It says nothing, the only word that has any relevance in it is
>>> 'empty', as the text is of meaning. And it's awkward to read.
>
>Not to an English speaking ear, particularly one used to reading heightened
>poetic language, which doesn't need the missing verbs to make sense of it.
>
>>> > Only in silence the word,
>>> > Only in darkness light,
>>> > Only in dying life,
>>> > Bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky
>>> > Ursula K LeGuin, in _A Wizard of Earthsea_
>>
>> Usually I am highly allergic to poetry. But this one is neat. I like it.
>> It's deep, although i.m.o. strictly speaking the wording of the third
>> line should be different to fit in with the rest.
>
>I'm not sure why. The first three lines are all free verse that scan with
>three stressed syllables per line. In fact, in terms of poetic feet, the
>second and third lines are rhythmically identical. The _visual_ effect of
>the shorter third line (the white space) probably encourages the average
>reader to pause slightly before going on to the last line, which is a
>feature, not a bug. (A lesser writer than LeGuin might not have trusted the
>white space to work this way and put a dash or ellipses after the third
>line, blunting the effect.)
>
I always want to write it with different punctuation:
Only in silence the word,
Only in darkness, light.
Only in dying, life.
Bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.

But that's probably just me.

Rebecca
.

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