Re: speaking of Judas

On Wed, 19 Apr 2006 00:54:32 +0000 (UTC), "Raven Woman"
<HrafnWif@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

It's been a little touchy this year because I found myself having to
make some religious statements to an important and well loved friend.
It's very personal for me and I felt a little offended at having to
make the statements. I felt a little like my integrity had been
challenged.

Fortunately, it was a misunderstanding rather than a challenge. And
it prompted me to think again of JMS's writings about Foundationism
(is that the right term?) and thinking maybe in the current political
climate, we need it.



This sounds like a very odd situation, LK. I'm not sure I follow you . . .
maybe not meant to? . . . but it sounds tricky. Hope all is well with you
now.

Jenn

It depends on whose and what side you're on. I'm not big on
CHRISTIANtm because the trademark "requirements" of this verse says
this and that verse says that and that, out of historical social
context as well as Biblical context, means....

I'm interested in origins of religions and evolutions of beliefs and
ethics and morality. To me it is not a static thing that can be
simply recited in one's sleep. It has to be thought about and acted
upon. And I think it is exciting be active in thought and action
rather than to be "protected" by verses.

Anyway...when you Goggle or Metacrawler "Christian marital counseling"
you see sites that claim the devil wants you to divorce; others
claiming staying in a failed marriage makes the devil happy; others
saying a failed marriage is the total responsibility of the man
because he is the head of household and he alone makes or breaks the
marriage; another that a Christian wife doesn't have to submit to the
authority of a non-fully committed to God Christian/non-Christian
husband because he has no authority to head the household.

I didn't find any that said marriage success or failure was the sole
fault of the Christian wife, but I read of that philosophy in other
places.

When my beloved friend first stated the counselor said that discussing
and dwelling on the past in a troubled marriage was temptation by the
devil, I burst out, "You really don't believe that crap do you?!" and
shortly added "This "The Devil made me do it", to me is a cop-out!".

I took offense because in between those statements my friend gently
stated that it didn't matter because "..You don't believe". I assumed
he meant "don't believe in God". I was offended because he assumed
that rather than asked. I think that is a highly personal question
because to me asking whether or not I believe is asking for me to
define my relationship to the belief. And, I guess it's kind of a
First Amendment thing, that you don't ask and you don't really have
the right to ask whether or not a person has a religious belief.
.....It kind of feels as a challenge to my integrity. My actions tell
what kind of person I am, not the trademarks I claim.

Truth is a three-edge sword. In this case, truth is a multifaceted
diamond and not all the facets are pretty or brilliant.

The past always colors the future and to blank out the past...
committing to a new start is one thing, saying the past has no bearing
whatsoever on current marital problems is a form of abandonment. It's
saying those hurts don't matter. It's saying you cannot learn from
those mistakes and misunderstandings. It's saying nothing needs to
change. _And_ it insinuates that there will be no revisiting of
problems in the future.

One very important thing that I've learned from life experience is
that many personal relationships and much healing from hurts is a kind
of spiral. You progress through time and will experience reminders of
hurts but as you heal, and as you live, you will address the reminders
on another level. With progress you will handle the hurts better.
Some hurts e.g., death of a loved one or a pet you may never "handle
better", but you cannot ever expect to never encounter the same or
similar problem again.

By the counselor refusing to consider or discuss marital problems of
the past, that pain is never acknowledged. The couple had to confess
their "sins", that it not the same thing. I think that counselor,
that philosophy is mistaking "acknowledgement" for "worshiping the
life preserver of pain". It is not.

The whole situation between my friend myself is a little better now,
but as JMS wrote "The future is often born in pain."

Unfortunately, I am far better at writing this than I am at saying it.

Thanks for your concern.

LK



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