Re: Non-SF Reading List

In article <iMadnWLyR-CN3rnUnZ2dnUVZ8jmdnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
JF <julian@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

I need help.

1. What is a bourgemobile?

No idea.

2. quote
There is an edge, one might imagine, to the juxtaposition of
this six hundred year old parvenu with the original inhabitant of
the peak: like a new neighbour in the converted stable block and
the patrician inhabitant of a manor house come down in the world,
the two buildings co-exist uneasily, eyeing each other through
metaphorical net curtains, concerned about the neighbourhood and
the relations the other might be having with the milkman.
unquote

Do you find this description cliche/d?

More pretentious.

3. quote But now all that is history. The two towers, military
and celestial, grey and gold, doze peaceably together on their
little hill that once rumbled and shook with subterranean fires,
like inmates of a rest home where, senses dulled by age and
medication, erstwhile enemies can mumble together over better days.
unquote

Is this a mixed metaphor?

No.

3. quote Sarah stowed the map book carefully and began to tidy
up the sweet wrappers which cluttered every flat surface. unquote

How many flat surfaces are there around the passenger seat in
an old Volvo?*

Probably several.

Do you see anything else wrong with the extract?

"Sweet wrappers" looks as though it means "wrappers that are sweet" not
(as I assume you intend) "wrappers that were around candies."

4. The driver has been given the briefing sheet by the guide, who
is off after a lost student. The Chinese students watch the
driver as he waxes lyrical about the pub run which will happen
later that day;

quote He waxed lyrical about the joys of drinking unhampered by
the normal controlling influences of time, law, or good sense,
spread himself to some purpose on the delights to come, expanded
on the local breweries, their histories, their strengths and
weaknesses, the relative proximity of Scotland and the joys that
are to be found in her peaty glens. His audience watched
impassively. Beneath unmoving faces excitement stirred, within
uniformed breasts their hearts beat faster. This man had never
shown any sign of enthusiasm in a tour that had encompassed the
Houses of Parliament, the ICI chemical works at Tees-side, the
birthplace of Robbie Burns and Stonehenge. Not even at the
waxworks museum, where there were genuine life-size figures of
John Lennon, Kylie Minogue and other leaders, had he done
anything but yawn and read his newspaper. unquote

Is this too obscure to be a joke?

Too overwritten for me to get through it if I were reading for pleasure.
I don't know who Kylie Minogue is, but describing John Lennon as a
leader suggests some misperception by the Chinese students. I don't know
is "Birthplace of Robbie Burns and Stonehenge" is supposed to suggests
the reading "birthplace of Stonehenge."

5. quote
A red convertible was parked right up against the main
entrance, a blonde girl wriggling beside it. A short balding man
with a pony tail watched her with an indulgent expression.
"I am afraid you may have strayed. Were you looking for
someone? A student perhaps?"
"Hi there. Toby and Bettyjo. We've been booked in. Senior
members. Old students. Any idea where we're meant to go? It's
like a ghost town."
"I will check. There should be some indication in the
porter's lodge. Unfortunately we are short staffed today."
The girl wriggled again.
"Well, get a move on. My knickers are killing me, I'm sure
they're full of grass."
"Er, very well. Yes, certainly. I will do that." John Stewart
vanished into cold stone darkness, his mind awhirl. unquote

The comment here was 'too cliche/d'. Could someone explain? Is
there a genre of young ladies with grass in their knickers and
where can I access it?

No idea.

Basically I'm trying to see if these remarks are too
idiosyncratic to worry about. The major points, the loss for a
large part of the book of the courageous Miss Li and the
over-extended descriptive passages (I knew I'd not get away with
them, but they were fun and enabled me to assume a fun authorial
persona as another character in the novel) are fixable with some
pain, but some of the remarks make me wary of these minor points.
Plumbum, he didn't know what plumbum is. Or a Lady chapel.

Pb. And I have a vague idea of what a Lady chapel is.

--
http://www.daviddfriedman.com/ http://daviddfriedman.blogspot.com/
Author of
_Future Imperfect: Technology and Freedom in an Uncertain World_,
Cambridge University Press.
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Non-SF Reading List
    ... quote Sarah stowed the map book carefully and began to tidy ... another about the students taking him seriously. ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
  • Re: Amalgam in a vacuum
    ... > John Lennon ... >> I'm talkin' about that guy who was supposed to ... scene... ... candles in the windows of the students' appartments.... ...
    (sci.med.dentistry)