Re: Rambling: the info (LONG!)

ShellyS <shelly.s@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Tina_H...@xxxxxxxxxxx (Tina Hall) wrote:
R.l. <see-...@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

He's at the army camp, so I wouldn't call it 'changing the action'
to have him outside his tent when the story opens instead of inside

I would. The story starts with hims sitting there, thinking about
the message he holds.

If I may *** in here, this sounds like what I tried to do to change
the opening of my WIR, and it simply didn't work, and in fact, made
things worse/harder for me to write.

My WIR started originally with Grisha standing at the site on Mars
where his parents and hundreds of others died in a cave-in beneath
the surface. There's nothing to see really, but the main point is
that he's been told already that his parents were dead and he had to
go see where they died, because that's what they would do.

When a couple of beta readers felt things started too slowly, and one
said it would be useful to see Grisha's personality before he learns
this news, I tried to accomplish fixes to both problems by moving the
story back to Grisha first arriving on Mars, throw in some intrigue,
then have him get the news about his parents. The action doesn't
change, technically, right?

The action on stage does.

He still finds out, he still goes to the site, but it was a mess.
Because that's not where the story starts. The story starts with him
already knowing.

Yes! :)

If Gorash already has the message, then Gorash already has it and the
story moves on from there. Some people might be able to back up, but
I can't and it seems as if you can't either, Tina.

Yes. Not at this point.

I couldn't even think of something to insert before the second Gorash
viewpoint (there's some empty time between them leaving the farm with
another viewpoint, and Gorash back in his tent), which would be a place
for some info to shift to. And I had no problem at all inserting
viewpoints (the sort-of-prologue, and an extra thread going through the
first book).

It's as if my backbrain says; "Nothing to see here." and after some
prodding; "I'm having my eyes shut closed! Nya nya! I can't hear you!
Nothing to see here!"

I can only write what I see happening.

Calling it changing the action or adding action, or whatever doesn't
matter. It's just semantics.

Well, to me the only on-screen action is that which is actually shown.
:)

What matters is that stories start where they start and end where they
end. How writers come up with those points may vary, but the story is
the story is the story.

Heh. Yes.

Figuring out how to write it is an individual process, all YMMV.

Well, figuring out how to phrase it better is not something that happens
at all for me. :)

So if Gorash has the message, then working in all the needed info has
to occur from that point forward. Trying to go backward just starts
things with an info dump and that's not necessarily an improvement no
matter how it's written, especially if it doesn't work for the
writer, and therefore, doesn't work for the story.

Thank you.

FWIW, I went back to my original opening scene, wrote in some more
emotion, took out some of the background I'd dumped in there, saving
it for later,

Yes, that's what I'm doing now, too.

then added scenes after to ratchet up the suspense/intrigue. It
worked. But the opening scene retained the original action and
dialogue.

<nod>

(snip)

I don't think of stuff like this as 'changing the action.'

It changes how the story starts. It changes what's happening.

For me, it would also change the emotional thrust of the opening. And
as I see from your later explanations, it's a character point, too,
which is very cool.

Thanks. :)

In my case, I decided that showing Grisha's reaction to grief (he's
stoic) without having his normal state to contrast it with just
wasn't important enough to try to write him prior to getting the bad
news and I didn't want to do flashbacks later to show that, either. I
have to hope I put enough there for readers to get a proper sense of
him, because the story starts where it starts for a reason. I might
not be fully aware of the reason, but I think it has to do with
everything prior to that moment isn't interesting enough to be
written, and what might be interesting, is another story. ;)

:) Good luck!

--
Tina
WIReading: S&E 1/3, Controlled by Magic: 195174 words, at 6.58%
WISuspension: Magic Earth series
Posted to Usenet newsgroup rec.arts.sf.composition.

.

Loading