Re: crit: Alternate opening

Scott Golden <gypsyluc@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Brian M. Scott wrote:
[eliminating unnecessary adverbs]
The problem, of course, is to decide what's necessary. I
dislike that particular dictum quite a lot, because it's so
often abused. Indeed, I think that your first formulation
-- 'eliminate as many of them as possible' -- is just plain
bad advice.

William G. Tapply, author of 27 published novels, in the July, 2006
issue of "The Writer":
Sharp writing begins with precise, active verbs. Adverbs are neon arrows
pointing to weak, vague verbs. Find the strong verb and expunge the
flabby adverbs.

Never heard of him.
(I could critique that paragraph, though. There are too many adjectives
for my taste. "are" is a weak, vague verb by any definition he's likely
to hold, and "find" isn't exactly scintillating. And, most importantly,
how do "neon arrows" manage to be "flabby"?)

<snip other "how-to-write" authors>

Just because a lot of people give the same advice doesn't mean it's not
bad advice.

Good writing uses the words needed to get the effect wanted.

Every author, every book, every viewpoint, every scene has different
needs. "Eliminate as many adverbs as necessary" is just... in searching
for a metaphor I find myself thinking of the way liquids have been
outlawed on many air flights recently, and how someone on the
blogosphere described this as "They've banned an entire phase of
matter!" (http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/007856.html
comment #1)

Adverbs are a part of speech just as nouns and verbs and adjectives and
articles are. Authors should be able to use them when they add to a
story without fearing Tapply or Strunk and White or Stephen King's
disapproval. (Now I'm visualising a cartoon of an author hunched over a
keyboard, shielding the computer screen from those who might be watching
over his shoulder, and furtively typing, "suddenly".)

Saying that "dejectedly" is unnecessary to the story because we don't
need to know the character's emotional state, or we can infer it from
other things, or you'd prefer to start with a happy character anyway --
that's fine and helpful to the author. But saying that "dejectedly" is
unnecessary to the story because it's an _adverb_ is sheer discrimation.

What I get from these authors (and others that echo their sentiments) is
not that there is a strict formula to follow to achieve good writing,
but that there are certain rules that, if followed, will allow _your_
writing voice to work--to be effective . . . to grab and hold the
attention of readers.

Proverbs 30:34-41

34 There is but one rule for writing; yea, for publishing there are but
two immutable laws.
35 Thou must arrange words so that they are intelligible; more than
thyself must be able to read thy phrases.
36 Thou must offer thy work to one who can publish it.

37 There are eight parts of speech in traditional English grammar; ten
parts of speech can a writer use.
38 Nouns, the determiners, infinite numbers, conjunctions and
prepositions in writing are proper;
39 We use pronouns, verbs and glorious adjectives; yea, even
interjections do we employ!
40 And surely adverbs are ever proper to the one who writes well.

41 A wise writer disdaineth not the split infinitive; the fool feareth
to end a sentence with a preposition.

(With apologies to verse 6 of the same chapter.)
(The invisible footnote for the first half of verse 37 cites
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Part_of_speech>; for the second half I
chose the number to mine own taste.)


<snip other stuff I disagree with because I'm trying not to jump too
much>

Zeborah
--
Gravity is no joke.
http://www.geocities.com/zeborahnz/
.

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