Re: Playing ( crit)

On Mon, 28 Aug 2006 16:04:46 +0000 (UTC), "Nicola Browne"
<nicky.matthews@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:


I've just started wondering what to write next.
Is this an interesting beginning or does it seem too YA?

'It was the look in the teacher?s eye that did it. She looked scared.
It still strikes me that she should have thought a bit harder before
asking that particular question, but ask she did.
? Now, ? she?d said brightly in the tone of voice reserved for small
children, the very old, the hard of hearing and the mentally defective,
?I?d like you to tell me one thing that people might not know about
you, something that makes you special.?
Until that moment I hadn?t thought much about it, in fact I remember
wracking my brains for something to say when my turn came. I could have
said that my favourite food was chocolate ice cream or that I had a pet
lizard, but both of those seemed rather ordinary and back in those days
I think I wanted to be thought interesting so I told her:
? Sometimes other people use my body, ? I?d said all innocent and
daring, wondering if that was special enough or a bit too obvious.
Social Services were round before you could say ?inappropriate
reaction,? and the look on my mother?s face will haunt me till the day I
die.
?But what do you mean, Annie?? she?d asked, her skin the colour of much
chewed gum.
?Who has been using your body and what do you mean??
The truth is I didn?t know who exactly ? I could barely read and the
habit we later developed of leaving each other notes was not yet
established. I meant only what I?d said ? I always do, but hardly anyone
ever listens.'

I like it. I don't think it sounds too YA, not that anything's wrong
with being YA.
--
Marilee J. Layman
http://mjlayman.livejournal.com/
.

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