Re: Set up LiveJournal community?

Helen Hall <mhall@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

In article <1hcap3w.177bbu3dzgkowN%spam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, Jonathan
L Cunningham <spam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> writes

Jonathan L Cunningham <spam@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

It's just what it means! Sort of a Heisenberg uncertainty principle: you
can't "get to know" someone without interacting with them.

If you prefer a metaphor, it's like the difference between a still

I sort of see what you mean, though I don't entirely agree with you. I
would feel that I had "got to know" a person more than I did previously
if I, for instance, read their diary or a biography about them.

I'm not talking here about how you/I/people feel, but about what I
mean, and what you mean, by the phrase "get to know". My usage seems
to be peculiar, in that it seems I restrict it to an even more personal
mode of interaction.

And, perhaps, because ISTM people behave very differently in different
cicrumstances (and with different groups of people). Either everyone
else is much better at extrapolating than I am, or they are content
to know about only one facet - the facet which the writer chooses to
reveal as their LJ personality (or mask).

You can learn a lot about someone by reading their rasfc posts - and
even more by reading their novel extracts. But, as everyone here
says, the protag in a novel isn't the same person as the writer (even
in a Mary Sue). Similarly, what people write on LJs, ISTM, may be
a fascinating facet, but it's only a facade - even if the writer of
the LJ believes their own words :-).

I find LJs much more personal. This is why I went with LiveJournal

Which is not to deny that LJs are more personal than rasfc, which is
supposed to be about cats and chocolate, but permits the occasional
digression about sf and composition. Part of what this sub-sub-thread
is on-topic for that reason: it's about what we mean by "get to know".

In some ways, it's also about *why* people want characterisation in
novels: it's one of the things they find interesting.

A lot of the people on my "friends" list are people I see face-to-face
once or twice a year. It's a convenient way of keeping in touch.

I think at some point I simply decided to suppress any curiosity
about what other people get up to[*]. If they want me to know, they'll
tell me.

You got divorced, remarried, had three children, were rescued from
an erupting volcano on your last holiday, and won the Nobel prize
for Literature? <yawn> Ok, I'll make a note of that. Read any good
books recently?

(I exaggerate <g>)

I must confess to being mildly surprised when I met a cousin (at
a wedding) for the first time in over twenty years. Gosh! How did he
catch such a young and pretty wife? Turned out to be his teenage
daughter[**] (his wife couldn't make it. :-). The kind of misperception
that might have been avoided by a LJ, perhaps :-). (You have a
daughter?? How did that happen?)

I thought it wasn't for me at first, but I got sucked in, so beware!
Another time sink looms. :-) I have to admit that I don't have time to

No, the only time I ever watched a soap regularly was when I was
temporarily in digs, and my landlord followed Coronation St.
religiously, so it was unavoidable. And when I moved, I had no
withdrawal symptoms.

And I'm probably one of the small minority who has never watched a
reality TV show like "big brother". Not even "by accident" when
flipping channels. It must mean that a lot of contemporary culture
is opaque to me - but sometimes opaque is good.

So a whole swathe of different, but related, time sinks hold no appeal
for me - I'm in no danger from LJs.

As far as writing in my LJ, I write mainly for me. Having said that,
don't expect great revelations. I don't often do "friends locked" posts
and when I lock things as personal, it's usually to hide their dullness,
not because they're in any way confidential.

If I expected great revelations, I might be more tempted to go and
look - but I don't! :-)

Jonathan
[*] Actually, I darn well know it was a conscious decision. If I had
a LJ, I could recount the circumstances. As it is, maybe one day it
will work its way into a novel or a short story.

[**] Sometimes, e.g. attending a wedding, teenage daughters can look
very grown up.
.

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