Re: two-page synopsis of Message Received

In article <11uo0vki36fc29f@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Patricia C. Wrede" <pwrede6492@xxxxxxx> wrote:

"Rich Weyand" <weyand@xxxxxxx> wrote in message

I think it's mostly because I still have problems condensing it to two
paragraphs, so when I hit the end of two paragraphs, I was 'done'.

Ah. Well, then it still needs work. But you knew that... ;)

Yep.

Here's a go at the two-paragraph synopsis for the query letter. This assumes
all the telepathy (and the question of just who built the machine) wait for
the sequel:

Astronomy grad student Jack Mueller has intercepted an interstellar message
that a planet-killing asteroid is headed to an impact with Earth, and there is
an asteroid deflection system located in Australia's Outback. But his thesis
adviser has been kidnapped, government agents are after him and his girlfriend
Becky Waggoner, and Australia is 7000 miles away. As Earth and the asteroid
hurtle toward mutual destruction, Jack and Becky huddle against the early
morning cold in an arbor of the Berkeley campus. Hunted, desperate, unsure of
themselves, they are the only chance that Earth and the human race have for
survival - if they can get there in time.

With the help of U.S. Navy Vice Admiral William Powell and a trio of
Australian computer hackers, Jack, Becky and their friends find the alien
system and repair it, but the gigantic asteroid cannot be completely
deflected. With the energy budget it has, the system breaks up the asteroid
and deflects the two halves as much as it can. The smaller fragments of the
breakup, some over a mile in diameter, continue on towards Earth completely
undeflected. The damage from these impacts is mitigated by Jack's work to
predict and prepare for them, resulting in low overall damage and loss of
life. Of the two halves the system deflected, one of them impacts on the
Moon, and the other misses Earth by only one hundred miles. Jack, Becky,
their friends and an alien machine have saved the human race.

Rich Weyand
Working title "Message Received" complete
WIP: untitled sequel
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: CRIT: First attempt query letter -- Third go at it
    ... Astronomy grad student Jack Mueller has intercepted an interstellar message ... an asteroid deflection system located in Australia's Outback. ... Becky Waggoner, and Australia is 7000 miles away. ... As Earth and the asteroid ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
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