Re: CRIT: First attempt query letter -- Third go at it

In article <11ucd42h8fe5s3d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Patricia C. Wrede"
<pwrede6492@xxxxxxx> wrote:
I was going to go through the first version, but you'd already done this, so
now I don't have to. The only thing I have to say about this one is that
your plot summary now sounds like a back-blurb teaser. This is only good
*to a point* -- and the point is the difference between what you are trying
to get an editor to do and why, and what the back blurb is trying to get the
reader to do and why.

OK. The first paragraph was basically the set-up. I've added a second
paragraph to carry the plot through the end of the book, so it's now a two
paragraph summary.

Any comments appreciated.

***

Astronomy grad student Jack Mueller has intercepted an interstellar message
that a planet-killing asteroid is headed to an impact with Earth, and there is
an asteroid deflection system located in Australia's Outback. But his thesis
adviser has been kidnapped, government agents are after him and his girlfriend
Becky Waggoner, and Australia is 7000 miles away. As Earth and the asteroid
hurtle toward mutual destruction, Jack and Becky huddle against the early
morning cold in an arbor of the Berkeley campus. Hunted, desperate, unsure of
themselves, they are the only chance that Earth and the human race have for
survival -- if they can get there in time.

With the help of U.S. Navy Vice Admiral William Powell and a trio of
Australian computer hackers, Jack, Becky and their friends find the alien
system and repair it, but not all of the incoming asteroid can be deflected.
The damage from the secondary impacts is mitigated by Jack's work to predict
and prepare for them, resulting in low overall damage and loss of life.
They've saved the planet, but interfacing with the alien machine leaves Jack,
Becky, and their friends with telepathic abilities, as well as the knowledge
that twenty-first century Earth is both mother planet and primitive backwater
of a space-faring human civilization over seventy millennia old.

I have BS and MS degrees in Physics and have worked in computers and
communications for the past thirty years. Message Received is my first novel,
but I have been writing professionally my entire career. My recently
published non-fiction writing credentials include: a chapter in a book
published by the American Bar Association, several articles in the legal trade
press, and over two dozen articles for leading model railroad hobby magazines.

Message Received is complete at 117,700 words. Manuscript is available in
hardcopy or as rtf/doc/txt on floppy, CD-ROM or via e-mail attachment. SASE
enclosed for your reply; email address and phone above.

Thank you for your consideration.

Rich Weyand
Working title "Message Received" complete
WIP: untitled sequel
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: CRIT: Second go on 2-page synopsis for Message Received.
    ... his thesis advisor, Professor Watkins," I assume everyone on earth with the right basic equipment will get this message at the same time, so you might mention that Jack and Prof Watkins are testing Jack's demodulation protocol, or whatever makes their approach unique. ... The agents also try to kidnap Jack at Becky's apartment, but, with the aid of Becky's roommate, law student Ginger Chin, and a pair of Berkeley defensive linemen who live next door, Jack and Becky escape. ... In the U.S., Vice Admiral William Powell, who served in the Navy with Rick Waggoner, explains to him that the kidnapping attempts are a result of bureaucratic miscommunication and overzealousness. ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
  • CRIT: Second go on 2-page synopsis for Message Received.
    ... ten-mile diameter asteroid 140 miles away, which is where Jack, Becky and Rick ... that also indicate that there is an asteroid deflection system in place around ... the Earth already. ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
  • Re: two-page synopsis of Message Received
    ... an asteroid deflection system located in Australia's Outback. ... Becky Waggoner, and Australia is 7000 miles away. ... As Earth and the asteroid ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
  • Re: CRIT: First attempt query letter -- Second go at it
    ... Astronomy grad student Jack Mueller has intercepted an interstellar ... an asteroid deflection system located in Australia's Outback. ... As Earth and the ... With the reader, you're trying to get him intrigued with the plot, ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
  • Re: CRIT: First attempt query letter -- Third go at it
    ... The first paragraph was basically the set-up. ... As Earth and the asteroid hurtle ... Jack and Becky huddle against the early morning cold in an arbor of the Berkeley campus. ...
    (rec.arts.sf.composition)
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