Civility and the Armor of Anonymity

After discovering Usenet through Google Groups earlier this year, I've
enjoyed the many different topics of conversations that I was able to
find, and all (usually) on a specific topic. It was like choosing
which party to attend, knowing that the people there may or may not
like you but at least they'll be talking about something that interests
you.

Writing and reading groups were the ones I checked out the most and I
found that there were quite a few, including this one. There are two
or three very small ones (membership-wise) that I regularly check and
contribute to and several larger ones like rasfc.

The small ones are like small towns. Everyone is friendly.

The larger ones, I'm discovering, are not. There doesn't seem to be a
sense of community or, as my subject line indicates, civility. People
flame each other ridiculously and without provocation and I have a hard
time imagining how small a person it takes to actually enjoy that,
which some clearly do by the frequency and joie de vive (sp?) that they
take in their actions. So, some of those groups I have simply stopped
reading. I still read a couple of them, but merely lurk.

This group is a very notable exception.

The people here are opinionated, sure. But the level of civility, for
the most part, is always in the green. People actually *help* other
people with information instead of recognizing a question as an
opportunity to invoke some kind of strange superiority. Discussions
are based on some crazy things called "facts and experience." It's
bizarre...

Some of it has to do with the anonymity of the 'net...the jerks, I
mean. Here, people sign their names for the most part and link to
their website and to their books (I would, but I use google for this
and haven't figured out how to have an auto-signature. My site is at
http://frankzafiro.com and was recently updated). A lot of folks in
Rec Arts Mystery are the same way. That openness is noticeably absent
in most of the flamers out there.

Every so often in this life, you stumble upon a group that is, in some
way, 'special.' For example, I've played recreational hockey since
1998 and been on a number of different teams. I generally like to play
more than once a week, so I always joined at least two teams. About 5
years ago, I put together a team of players, most of whom did not know
each other, and in those five years, I only heard two cross exchanges
between players and we only had one guy who was difficult. He only
lasted a year. The group looked out for each other, encouraged each
other, shared knowledge, victory and defeat. We won our division
championship the final three years together, moving up a level each
year.

Nothing is forever, of course. One guy developed cancer, several had
to move, one went through a divorce and couldn't focus, another ran
into financial trouble and wouldn't let us chip in...so rather than
bring in basically half a new team, we folded the team.

The point, though, is that no other team I played with even approached
the chemistry and good will of that team. Other teams were filled, to
varying degrees, with prima donnas or backbiting or a pervasive losing
attitude or had no idea that we were there for fun or complained
or...well, you get the picture. Those experiences helped me to realize
what a special group that team was for that period of time.

Rasfc, in the land of Usenet, is a similar group. Maybe it is just
maturity or maybe this group is special. Either way, I appreciate the
way you folks interact and the advice some of you have shared with me.
I look forward to reading, lurking and participating as time goes by.
Thanks.

Frank

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