Re: Opening of the Fantasy WIP

On Wed, 07 Sep 2005 19:38:20 -0800, Bill Swears <wswears@xxxxxxx> wrote:

>Kristopher wrote:
>>
>>
>> I'm probably going to drop Jenn's attempt to heal the young
>> woman entirely. It's not necessary, and seems to be creating
>> some confusion.

If that means Jenn just sees she's injured and takes her to the priest,
that works for me. Jenn demonstrating magic healing power in this first
scene, along with all those other powers, was feeling little too much for
me....


>No, don't. Good writing, and a nice statement about your character.
>Let her do her thing. The confusion seems mostly to do with how she got
>injured, and that isn't important. Nobody but you has seen the entire
>piece, and nobody but you has a reason get persnickity about how you
>tell your story, until you start thinking it's time to look for a publisher.
>
>If I were you, I'd let this argument go until later. In rewrite you
>might or might not want to clarify something. In the meantime, you have
>an entire story to tell, so get on with it.

Seconded. :-)


>Personally, I *love* that
>she had to stop to help somebody else, and that she then transported as
>far away as possible. So much for the hard as nails mercenary thief.

I like this too, which would work as well with her just taking the girl to
the priest.


R.L.
--
RL at houseboatontheganges dot com
for Indian river read styx
.

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