Re: accessories

jack austin wrote:

accessories


every morning i wake up soaked
in sunlight. after i shower i dry
my body with a terrycloth towel,
clothe myself in the finest fabrics

of my generation: denim, cotton,
polyester, i own several silk shirts -
my skin is erect - each one another color
each one smoother than the other.

i love a hot breakfast in the morning.
after i dress i adorn myself with platinum
and silver rings and necklaces and bracelets
and a jewel-encrusted watch (i keep

time squared in each new breath
and every inhalation tickles me).
my eyes broad brushstrokes,
canvas, the day that lies ahead. if it rains

my gray london fog deflects each drop
repelling it from my shoes, canvas too
but sometimes leather. i love to smell and taste
the fruit of each new hour in coffee beans,

organic soymilk, kiwis, varieties of apples
and peaches and pears i import every sunday
from faraway lands like washington -
my taste buds report every bite

to my tongue which never forgets.
the night i spend sipping cherry wine,
a technicolor rebound is my reward and
every night before i sleep i have an orgasm.


jack~

i am a kamikaze, my training was short.


Well, I'm a veteran of over 3600 kamikaze missions...

Some really attention-grabbing breaks, and skews from adjective to noun here. I like the individual effects, but I think they pull the attention away from the meaning rather than into it. A first impression.

A second. A very touchy-feely detail report that culminates in The Grand Feely as its only meaning.
Are we to observe that the accessories are hung on nobody/nothing?
It would be an accurate portrayal of something, and that something would /not/ be aware that his sensual bling was all there was to him, as this speaker isn't.
I really hope that was your intent; this is pretty good. The voice jumps around a lot, but then so would he.

(Welcome back. Hope you brought your trogun and trammo.)

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