Re: Southern Gateway

In rec.arts.poems on Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:43:32 -0700,
metaphysic@xxxxxxxxxxxxx <metaphysic@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

A health facility used to be here
Off St. James' Drive Old Hospital Place
The only Southern tube, Northern line here
Take Trinity true north at the fork: base.
The place silent like a sleeping lion
It's not a cul-de-sac it is round close
As to Milton's flattened hill of Sion.
The children attend school they're not morose.
All have treated me in perfect manner
This, I think, is where to raise my banner.

1. Learn about punctuation.
2, Learn about forced rhyme.
3. Learn about scansion.

You have ideas and phrases that are capable of being fitted into
poetry, but your technique is letting you down.

anonymous

Line 7 - See Paradise Lost - John Milton.

A copy of Paradise Regain'd by the same author has been purchased but
no time as yet to read.

It's good. Read it. But don't try to quote it in a poem until you
acquire some basic understanding of how to arrange words into
sentences.


--
PJR :-)
<http://pjr.gotdns.org/verse/16-poems>
.