Re: (OT)Neandertal mtDNA/ mull that over
- From: "Sherrie Lee" <sherriel383@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: 10 Sep 2006 05:44:26 -0700
Dennis M. Hammes wrote:
Sherrie Lee wrote:
Dennis M. Hammes wrote:
Sherrie Lee wrote:
Placenta Jinn wrote:
"Sherrie Lee" <sherriel383@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message news:1157629041.144893.264180@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx38
Placenta Jinn wrote:
OK, so you found the poetry part.
Past Summer
smoke floats in flat flakes
halfway from the floor
the steady grunting of bubbles
up from the pump to the top of the fish tank
is cracked by the dry crunch
of an expended brown filter tip
and the crash crunched from an empty pack
outside a nicotine stained window the sun
a chipped china plate splattered with old egg
watches the yard reel in a fungoid
rapture of brown protoplasm
and shrugs the final fall of summer
corpses of the autumn festival lie
moldering in brown corners
causing even the moon
to turn her nose last night
and wait for winter to bury them
the yellow harvest is laid out in barns
and left over from those yellow days
is a dull pain by my left arm
but it only throbs when I prod it
and the cat slides past my chair
sniffing once and passing over
the metronome of poems that kiss the carpet
with all the moans they once
saved for us
I love that one.
Me too. It's like an afghan. The kind that's beautiful
to look at but lets the chill through the empty space
of the weave.
By George, I believe she Got it.
Yeah, and you write in such a way that has my mind
seeing you as having masturbated with such matching
vigor as how vivid the mind sees it!
Tsk. Poultry is masturbating with /unmatched/ vigor.
Until you go into breathlock, even.
"No goosepimples in the writer, no goosepimples in the reader."
I didn't mean to suggest that your writing
was as limited as how only my mind sees it.
My writing gives me goosepimples only when
I see what it did after it did it. At the time of
the writing, I didn't do it. I really didn't. In fact,
some of the stuff that turns out funny, I was
being straight-faced serious. Knowing that
makes it all the funnier.
But you know what? I read it out loud to an audience,
and the external voice lost the clarity of how the internal
voice read it. The first line is too trippy aloud, but inside
it works, for one.
IIRC, I'd been sitting so long my smoke was layered along the
thermocline.
If I changed anything, it'd be "sniffing thrice" (since they do),
but "thrice" sounded a little trippy. Still does.
It was an exercise in feeling what feeling chose to see.
Rik did that a few days ago, a little better, I think, or more
immediately.
Part of the point here is that there are a couple *feelings* this
pome ain't gonna tell ya because /I/ ain't gonna tell ya.
And it'll tell ya that.
Yeah, I know. And since you say it like that, it tells me
that what it doesn't tell is because the couple feelings know.
--
-------(m+
~/:o)_|
Thistles have been the favorite food of songbirds for eons.
http://scrawlmark.org
.
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