Disaster At The Kodak Theater

After watching just a part of the Academy Awards, I can categorically
state that this ceremony qualifies for TARP funds, from the Troubled
Academy Relief Program. In an evening that looks to be filled with
low points, the presentation for Best Supporting Actress already
reached rock bottom. Five previous winners on stage to award one
Oscar. And what happened to Goldie Hawn, who seems to have remodeled
herself into another person. The winner, Penelope Cruz, closed her
speech by adding something in Spanish about how great an honor it was
to get this award for her country (I recognized the word pais, but
maybe she was just asking that the Spanish tax authorities not seize
her bank account in Madrid for non-payment of taxes, she spoke real
fast). In any case, the people in Los Angeles must have appreciated
someone speaking their language, unlike the Anglos there.

A news article said that according to William Bratton, chief of the
Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), police are using all of their
resources to keep the Oscars ceremony "safe and uneventful." The
Oscars sure are that, uneventful. The same people who make American
movies that movie fans stay away in droves from, outside of teenagers,
are now applying a heavy dose of their magic to the Oscars.

Hugh Jackman, who movie Australia tanked badly (another financial
black hole you can mainly credit to Nicole Kidman, who has earned the
highest salaries for the most flops in the shortest time in Hollywood
movie history, a non-Oscar category), should have gotten a second
opinion on whether dancing and singing are the primary duties of the
Oscar host.

The show is not over yet, so maybe later on the Academy will have a
look back to 75 years ago, when the Hollywood Production Code under
Administrator Joe Breen (a foaming at the mouth anti-Semite who had no
problem getting a big salary from the mostly Jewish studio moguls)
went into force, in July 1934, leading to 25 years of rigid movie
censorship. Probably not, AMPAS, which gives out these awards, only
thinks about the past when it comes to suing people to get back the
Oscars their heirs are trying to sell for more than $10 each.

What this telecast needs is something likely, like releasing a bunch
of monkeys to liven up the party. That is what a character played by
James Cagney did in the 1933 movie Lady Killer. But that was another
day, in a dark Depression year. Now everything is wonderful, no need
to be cheered up by an interesting Oscar telecast. Unless, of course,
your retirement money was with Bernie Madoff.
.

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