- From: "Stan (the Man)" <newsNOSPAM@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2008 13:43:17 -0500
Mr. Stan (the Man) wrote:
Sylvia wrote:Miz Sylvia ( <--- that's ME!!!) wrote:Remember: KCIO3, vaseline and a wee bit of heat. Word.
<...>Uh-oh! It's the Loot!<...>This sound good except for the chili sauce. Wot else can I use? Wot do<...>
the Swedes use? How long do I cook 'em in the pot thingy? You'll fly on
over and take care of this for me, right? Oh, and make me some baked
ziti while yer at it, 'K? I haven't had that NJ staple in years.
<searching for Mr. Stan's baked ziti recipe>
Here it is!
"Christ. Sauce, pasta, ricotta, mozzarella, sauce. Repeat.
"Stan (it ain't rocket science)"
<hiding under coffee table>
Hey, Mr. Stan? Could ya define "sauce"? You ain't talkin' about sauce
wot comes out of a bottle, are ya?
<shutting eyes and holding breath>
That's either got sumpthin' to do with you being a n instructor for the home-made bomb special task force thingy wotever and I should be scared...
... or it's sumpthin' weirdly sexual and I should be insulted (or, sayin' "Hubba hubba!").
I hope that ain't a sauce recipe 'cause the gathering point of the party is gonna be around a humongous bonfire.
Anyways . . . ain't no such animal. Well, in N.J. maybe, but not in, you
know, the civilized world. So, here's a good basic sauce recipe:
1. Obtain some high quality tomato seeds
Um . . . when did you say the party starts?
GIMME A REAL SAUCE RECIPE FOR BAKED ZITI AND GIMME IT *NOW*!
The party is on Friday! I'm not even sure where my kitchen is, so I have to start REALLY early!
Ohfer . . . ok, here:
2-3 large cans of crushed tomatoes
1-2 lbs chop meat
Italian seasoning (oregano, basil, yada-yada)
1lb mozzarella, shredded
garl . . . nevermind
Disposable alimin . . . alimun . . . tinfoil pan
Good Italian or French bread (fly to NY to obtain same)
Borrow large sauce pan.
Add a tbls or two of olive oil to borrowed sauce pan.
Put borrowed sauce pan over med heat on stove (the big thing with round hot things on it, in the kitchen (room with refrigerator, sink and odd smell you can't seem to locate).
Add chop meat and brown
Borrow can opener and instructions for use.
Open cans of crushed tomatoes and empty into borrowed large sauce pan.
Add Italian seasonings and salt to taste
Turn up heat to bring to light boil for a minute or three.
Lower heat to low and cover.
Simmer til ziti is done.
Cook ziti al dente (look it up)
Put drained ziti into alimin . . . alimun . . . tinfoil pan
Add sauce and other stuff (mixed ricotta and mozzarella)
Top with layer of other stuff, ending with sauce
Heat in oven (square compartment under big thing with round hot things on it), at 350 degrees for about 45 minutes.
Cover with alimin . . . alimun . . . tinfoil.
Put in car, drive to party.
Wipe up spilled sauce and carry ziti into party. Serve with good bread.
Look smug, but humble when receiving accolades.
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