[UPDATE!] How many Times Has Skip Press Returned to Supporting His Scientology Cult?
- From: Sylvia <sylvia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:31:45 -0500
<strolling by with poster board announcement>
"Currently known number of times
that Skip Press has returned to
supporting his Scientology Cult is *now*:
<flipping sign around and strolling back>
"Could Skip Press be any
more STUPID? Stay tuned..."
[SKIP'S VOLUNTARY SLAVE LABO(U)R:]
"And she lead me to the basement of the 'complex' where
the 'RPF's RPF' was located. [...] It was an even more
demeaning slave labor force who cleaned out the bowels of
the old buildings. [...] I was never so filthy as I was cleaning
out the bowels of the "complex" and we were only allowed
to shower once a week.
[SKIP'S GREAT ESCAPE!]
"And when we went to shower we had to had a "buddy" along.
[...] When my "buddy" was taking a shower, I found a staircase.
It lead upstairs to a roof. I found a grassy area below and jumped.
[...] I took off running across a parking lot and hurried down
Sunset Boulevard as pursuers yelled threats at me from the roof
where they'd pursued me.
"And I would've stayed gone except for one problem. I had an
expensive Martin guitar back in my former room [...] After a few
days I called the Celebrity Centre and [the] "ethics officer" [...]
that I simply wanted to part ways, but I wanted my guitar.
[SKIP RETURNS TO THE NEST OF XENU (ALIEN GALACTIC DICTATOR):]
"Coercion followed and I agree to meet with a woman named Diane
Marple [...] I explained to her that [...] I wanted my guitar (which
she had with her) and that I planned to become a successful
musician. [...] So with her promise that she would deliver my guitar
to a former staff member friend of mine (which4 she did, I later
learned), I went back to the RPF."
-- Skip Press
Sylvia (Aren't ya glad that Skip Press insisted that we check out his facts?)
"I wanted my guitar (which she had with her)
and that I planned to become a successful musician."
-- Skip Press discusses the sacrifice he made
for his successful career as a musician...
oh, wait... he FAILED. Never mind.
"As a screenwriter, Press has known only modest success. He has
written scripts for children's TV shows and instructional videos
since the late 1980s. His biggest claim to fame is a matter-of-fact
1987 video called A Woman's Guide to Firearms."
-- Patricia B. Gray, June 2006
FORTUNE Small Business Magazine Online
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