Re: Seeking Advice: Sincerity and Commitment

On 2008-04-10 18:33:03 -0400, "PJ" <authoressss@xxxxxxxxx> said:

"serenebabe" <serenebabe@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:47fe8bd3$0$1110$4c368faf@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

< ... >
I will continue believing that being kind to each other is more helpful
and useful than trying to tear each other down.
<...>
I don't think brutally honest feedback is necessarily
about "tearing each other down." I think it's about truth and what people
make of it. And whether they care to hear it.
<...>

Of course. I totally agree when it comes to feedback. But, there's brutally honest feedback (even in the form of someone like RJM or Alan or Stan) and there's simply trying to make someone feel like ***. And I am not, in this case, talking of Sylvia's obsession with me of late. I'm talking about different ways of teaching lessons, in general.

There are people in this newsgroup who love calling each other names and "whapping" each other and I think that's fine. Funny at times. There are people in this newsgroup who contribute to thoughtful and meaningful conversations. That's cool, too. There are people who don't care at all if the banter is "productive" or not, and I think that's fine, too. Seriously.

All I've been trying to say is what I prefer is kindness. I'm not suggesting everyone better be nice to me or I'll go crying my eyes out -- I might cry my eyes out if my feelings get hurt, but that's not someone else's problem. I'm also avoiding the kind of stuff I don't like, and finding the newsgroup pretty fulfilling.

Anyway, as far as I can tell, you are talking about feedback in all its forms -- and I think you'll see that I've learned from serious bashing in the past, too. I don't think "feedback" needs to be nice.

What I don't like is when someone tries to rip someone a new *** just because it's an option. And, again, I don't think (Sylvia, care to correct me?) I've said that other people shouldn't do whatever they want. I'm pretty sure I've only written about what _I_ prefer. What I've found in this newsgroup in the past, and what I think still exists amid the "you're a prick, you're an ass" stuff. That's not my cuppa, that's all.


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It's All About We! (the column)
http://www.serenebabe.net/

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