Re: Dinner at the Hill Household

Josh Hill <usereplyto@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Sun, 09 Sep 2007 07:08:57 -0600, boots <no@xxxxx> wrote:

Josh Hill <usereplyto@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:45:14 -0600, boots <no@xxxxx> wrote:

Josh Hill <usereplyto@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Sat, 08 Sep 2007 02:35:35 -0600, boots <no@xxxxx> wrote:

Josh Hill <usereplyto@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Fri, 07 Sep 2007 10:33:23 +0200, Alan Hope
<usenet.identity@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Josh Hill goes:

Refrigerator coolness adds a plaintive piquancy to the flavor of the
left-over bean sprouts. Breast of chicken, carefully baked and then
frozen, is microwaved to the point of perfection: its moist, tender
flesh offsets the crisp summer crunch of the frozen peas, lovingly
presented on a plastic fork. Only the wine list disappoints.

I don't believe you. A chicken breast cooked then frozen then nuked is
inevitably going to be as dry as dried drought. No way it was moist
and tender.

And if your peas are crunching, you should have taken them out
earlier. Or cooked them in some way. The French way perhaps, with
shredded lettuce (not iceberg) in butter with a little mint.

The trick is to place the frozen peas and the frozen chicken together
in a bowl -- it must never be a plate, since they are all dirty and I
don't feel like doing the dishes -- and microwave them simultaneously
five minutes. This has numerous advantages:

Did yer missus r-u-n-n-o-f-t? Are you a bachelor so ignerunt ya never
heared of paper plates? Keep feedin the flies that way, next thing ya
know you'll make pets of 'em and tether 'em to yer epaulattes. Yecch.

Ah, but I need something that will survive the trip through the
microwave. Ordinary plastic won't do it, I'm allergic to the high heat
plastic and paper plates, I have to prepare my meals separately (food
allergies, not really a problem but there are some common things that
make me sick), and my high culinary standards won't permit me to eat
more than three out of four meals cold.

Then fer krissake wash the freakin dishes oncet in a while, even us
disgustingly poor abject losers wash the damn dishes.

But, you see, that's why you're a disgustingly poor abject loser.
Power of positive thinking, you know: if you don't wash the dishes,
the scullery maid will come along and wash them for you.

If some scullery maid shows up it ain't the dishes I'll be tryin' to
get her to do.

Scullery maids are, by decree of God, plain.

Plain in the parlor innit.

The ones you want are the
upstairs chamber maids, particularly the ones named "Fufu" and "Gigi."

All talk and no walk.

--
The sane answer, to madness, is insanity.
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Dinner at the Hill Household
    ... don't feel like doing the dishes -- and microwave them simultaneously ... Then fer krissake wash the freakin dishes oncet in a while, ... If some scullery maid shows up it ain't the dishes I'll be tryin' to ...
    (misc.writing)
  • Re: Dinner at the Hill Household
    ... frozen, is microwaved to the point of perfection: its moist, tender ... don't feel like doing the dishes -- and microwave them simultaneously ... Then fer krissake wash the freakin dishes oncet in a while, ...
    (misc.writing)
  • Re: Dinner at the Hill Household
    ... frozen, is microwaved to the point of perfection: its moist, tender ... don't feel like doing the dishes -- and microwave them simultaneously ... Then fer krissake wash the freakin dishes oncet in a while, ...
    (misc.writing)
  • Re: Dinner at the Hill Household
    ... frozen, is microwaved to the point of perfection: its moist, tender ... don't feel like doing the dishes -- and microwave them simultaneously ... Then fer krissake wash the freakin dishes oncet in a while, ...
    (misc.writing)
  • Re: Dinner at the Hill Household
    ... frozen, is microwaved to the point of perfection: its moist, tender ... A chicken breast cooked then frozen then nuked is ... don't feel like doing the dishes -- and microwave them simultaneously ... Then fer krissake wash the freakin dishes oncet in a while, ...
    (misc.writing)