Re: Poopy Water

"Me" <"Me, I said, Not you "@somethinghere.com> wrote in message
news:QPKqi.12872$zA4.4156@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PJ wrote:
There's a popular little resort town about 15 miles south of here that is
cram-jammed with people every summer. As we speak, there's a Coast Guard
festival going on, which draws even more people to cram-jam the town as
well as the beaches. Much to the festival organizers' chagrin, the health
department did a little testing of the water (which health department
folks are wont to do) and found that E. coli levels are twice the level
considered safe for human exposure. It is probably a temporary thing,
brought on by recent heavy rains and excessively high seagull populations
going potty on the beach and the products of said pottying being washed
into the water by the rain. Still, upon finding the E. coli levels far
too high, the health department posted signs that say SWIMMING NOT
ADVISED DUE TO DANGEROUS LEVELS OF E. COLI all around the beaches. So I'm
reading this in today's newspaper and I'm seeing photos of people having
a grand old time SWIMMING IN THE WATER WITH THEIR LITTLE KIDS.

Now, I don't know how many of you are parents, but would you let your
kids swim in water that is polluted by, according to the health
department, "a bacteria associated with animal feces; ingesting the
bacteria can cause stomach ailments in humans and, in extreme
circumstances, can be fatal"?

Just wondering.

Are you crazy? They're kids. Nasty little kids. They routinely pee in
the water. They'll poop in a heartbeat, up until about the age of 3.
They'll pick up a cookie that's been on the ground for decades and eat it.
They'll swap gum back and forth. If left to figure life out for
themselves, they'll try to convince you they don't need a bath because
they ran through the sprinkler two days ago. They pick their nose and eat
their bogers. They'll finish a meal they started four hours earlier, and
left out on the bar. They kiss the dog on the mouth. The dog hates that.
They bite their toe nails off. They leave the door open when they ***,
and talk to you merrily while they do, and exit the bathroom without
flushing.

How you think the e.coli got there? They did it, the masses of evil
little children.

Make them swim in the water. Make them. If they do not wish to swim in
the water, lift them by the back of their barbie bikini's (use the straps
as a handle), and toss them in. And holler, "That's cause you've got
wedgies, and good girls do not run around wearing barbie bikini's with
wedgies. That's why you Gramma just tossed you in e. coli water."

You're the kind of grandmother Stephen King writes about.

~ ~ ~
PJ


.