Re: What do I do now?

Sylvia <sylvia@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Mr. boots wrote:

<...>
These little scissors certainly don't work well on nose-hair, a
decently engineered cell phone would be vastly superior. What we need
is a cell phone called the Tardis, made by the company that
manufactures Swiss Army knives, contains an AK-47, a magic wand, and a
six-room condo, doubles as a prophylactic, pull it out of your pants
and you have whatever you want (or you can get it by waving the
properly configured Tardis around). Send me 3, ask Bill Gates what
his billing address is and use that, he owes me bigtime for the pain
of using Windows, btw do you know a good personal injury lawyer
(nevermind that's an oxymoron)?

I would like to have a petite, thin, solidly built, all around well
designed cell phone with a speaker phone, a straight-forward address
book, a recorder, an alarm clock, and... that's it.

I don't want it to also be a still camera, a video recorder, a game
arcade, an MP3 player, a GPS tracker, an internet browsing device, a
text-messaging or email device, or a fashion statement.

I want it have a universal headphone jack (so I can use normal
headphones), and a universal charger connector so I don't have to buy a
new car charger.

Thenkyew.

I'd settle for having a cellphone that could conveniently be used to
make voice calls and didn't have to be recharged after each use.

I have a now-ancient calculator that I bought from Radio Shack
sometime during the paleolithic that has a solar cell smaller than a
dime, its batteries have been dead for a couple decades now but it
still works like a champ. These phonemakers make me scratch my head,
all this concern about useless crap and the basics continue to be
ignored.

It's nice to have a phonebook built in, but oddly since having that
feature my memory has eroded and I can't even remember my own phone
number, much less the number of anyone I might want to talk to. I
think that I preferred just remembering the numbers, but I can't
recall for sure.

The GPS tracking thingy is very useful for the fuzzoids in case I
should make a crank call to 911 or some equally bizarre ***. The
only reasons I don't rip it out by the guts are (a) I might break a
leg while I'm too drunk to know where I am, unlikely but possible, and
(b) I wouldn't have a clue as to how to go about it. Should I decide
upon a life of crime I won't carry a cellphone, duh.

I did disable some features in a cellphone I had once, I used a hammer
and the target features were fully and permanently disabled.

--
The sane answer to insanity is madness.
.