Re: [For Ray] Re: Writing for sale

boots goes:

Alan Hope <not.alan.hope@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
boots goes:
Alan Hope <not.alan.hope@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
RJM goes:

I write "badly", it's true. Not only here, in this "different"
medium. I'm not a writer, so writing "badly" is a given.
Professionally there was always professional help, most
importantly from my friend the late Mrs X, writer of
literary novels and teacher of literary novices. She was
a lecturer in English and a speaker of beautiful prose.
Listening to her explaining why this was wrong and that
was right was a joy in itself. You "got it" immediately,
and she was funny . . . she was what droll means. For years
I took bulging, fact laden, statistic filled marketing reports
to her and she would turn them, or rather show me how to
turn them into, if not exactly riveting, at least interesting
reading for managements and boards whose only concern
was the bottom line. My criterion, to be sure, but I also
had a reputation to enhance.

I did eventually figure out how to do it myself, of course,
but there was always Mrs X to turn to if I thought my
meagre resources were not up to a job. As often as not,
once I was established, her advice helped me to turn
down doubtful work rather than grab everything offered.
When she was very old, at dinner parties she liked to
remind me, and any guests within earshot, that she took
a too clever by half young copywriter and turned him
into a half clever old fool, and she wasn't sure she'd done
the right thing. I'm not that certain myself, but I wouldn't
have it any other cliche.

Okay, Ray. Have at it. Take it to pieces.

Let's see what you're made of.

Or alternatively, just back down and shut the *** up about things you
know nothing about.

Stop it Hope, my teeth hurt from being clenched while I carefully do
not point out the misplaced comma, missing comma, and so forth that
combine to break the piece's stride and make it clumsy.

Why hold back?

What, and make it easy for Ray? Not on yer life. I'm still planning
to contact Ray for some help in making money from writing.

Okay. Knock yourself out. If you need dental advice, Stan is a cop, so
feel free. Real estate problems? gekko and Pritch work in software,
they'd be delighted. Problem with a cake recipe? Zen is an editor. You
only have to ask.

I hope
that he'll prove to be an amazingly bad writer, because if he's making
money from writing and he's that bad at it, he's a hell of a marketer
which is what I need, not advice about how to lead the reader or where
to put commas.

I see.

Ray, for krissake whip some *** on this guy so I can stop clenching
my teeth. If you can't find *something* to point out, you deserve to
enroll in the Zen Academy For Fuckwits. Do it, do it hard.

He won't. He'll find some excuse. He'll go "If you pay me". Watch and
see. He'll bottle it. He's all mouth, no courage, no bluff above all.
Any fool with a modicum could bluff *something*.

Ray is bereft of all knowledge. He thinks bluff is enuff. Watch what
happens when somebody calls him.

I observe, I cogitate, I try not to get it on me.

Wise course.

I need to get back to my Sopranos series four now. I'm only five eps
in and now I got this fucking EATING thing giving me *** like I can't
stand. And no, if I had someone to cook for me, I wouldn't be doing a
one-day Sopranos marathon, would I? Now would I?


--
AH
http://sour-grapes.blogsource.com



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