Re: Passive vs Active writing [Non-political]


"Ivor Longhorn" <longhornster@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:t4g3k1p1cio74qf717bokpj5l9n88s3v5f@xxxxxxxxxx
: You rang, m'lord. Well, even if you didn't, "Jackson Pillock"
: <Jackson@xxxxxxxxxxxx> said:
:
: >
: >"Ivor Longhorn" <longhornster@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
: >news:o6g1k15p2j19cavcsuv7bjg0bv6lddvbsn@xxxxxxxxxx
: >: You rang, m'lord. Well, even if you didn't, "Jackson Pillock"
: >: <Jackson@xxxxxxxxxxxx> said:
: >:
: >: >
: >: >"Steve Pritchard" <Steve_Pritchard@xxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
: >: >news:3q7nb9FcvtqnU1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
: >: >: Okay, if there's anyone left here that can offer an opinion on
writing,
: >: >: rather than Bush, the Bible or other similarly pointless debating
: >: >: topics, take a squint at these two paragraphs.
: >: >
: >: >...
: >: >
: >: >:
: >: > High in the skies above the park birds were
: >: >: circling, flitting from perch to perch and growing in number,
noisily
: >: >: contemplating their flight southwards and an escape from the
: >: >: increasingly cold weather. Wheeling left and right like schooling
fish
: >: >
: >: >I'd be curious if someone knows what's wrong with that, exactly. Seems
to
: >me
: >: >that likening flocking birds to shoaling fish is a straight
comparison,
: >: >dressed up as a simile.
: >:
: >: As opposed to being dressed up as what?
: >
: >Batman.
: >
: >:
: >: > So it seems like a metaphor
: >:
: >: Yes.
: >:
: >: > but it's actually a
: >: >comparison of like with like
: >:
: >: Which is what some metaphors are.
: >
: >Well, okay. Maybe it was just a bad metaphor.
: >
: >:
: >: > and not a very apt one.
: >:
: >: That's the problem. First, flocking birds do not actually look like
: >: fish and the image is forced. Second, it would not be very
: >: illuminating even if they did.
: >:
: >: >So it lets you down as
: >: >a metaphor. That's the best stab I can make at it.
: >:
: >: If you had resisted the urge to pontificate about metaphors, or had
: >: had the ability to discuss the problem in more accurate terms, it
: >: would have been a good stab. Metaphors *are* comparisons. They say to
: >: the reader, look, Jackson *is like* a goblin. They say, he's not
: >: really a goblin, he just reminds you of one. But yes, in good writing,
: >: a metaphor says something more than that. Goblins are a bit icky, a
: >: bit evil, a bit mean. So "Jackson, goblinlike, crept into the room"
: >: tells us a lot about Jackson by way of metaphor.
: >
: >Okay, I think I get you. So if I said, "Ivor, souplike, lives in a can"
it
: >would say something important about you.
: >
: >:
: >: Why do fish dart from side to side? (Rhetorical.)
: >:
: >: Does it tell you anything about the birds to compare them to the fish?
: >
: >Not really. I think metaphors are best when they imagine something that's
: >otherwise ineffable. That's why the fish/birds simile rang so flat to me.
A
: >flock of birds does literally move a little bit like a shoal of fish. I'd
: >rather know if they were starlings or whatever.
: >
:
: You're banned from using "ineffable" for the rest of this month.

Oh! That's so unfair. I hate you.

:
:
: Dr Zen
: Editor, Man of Letters of Little Renown, Writer, Liveried Lackey at Times
and Occasional Masturbator
: http://gollyg.blogspot.com
: Editing Done Cheap. Apply for Rates. I Also Write. So Long as You Don't
Want a Whole Novel. Been Known to Read Proofs.


.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Reading book about Riemann Hypothesis
    ... > I have just been writing in my blog about the book ... that sparked my interest in mathematics. ... such a fish. ...
    (sci.math)
  • ncurses and children
    ... fish in it. ... All of my children are writing to stdscr ... My children do not always have a correct picture of what stdscr looks like ... I buy a hammer / I smash someone's head open / Outlaw all hammers ...
    (comp.unix.programmer)
  • Re: Judge and jury in the coal powerplant case
    ... just to have a quick bite to eat. ... How do fish "know" the bait to take which means ... You've clearly never been fishing have you! ... Just writing what I feel. ...
    (uk.local.kent)
  • Re: despair
    ... and writing bad code in C is trivial. ... Writing bad code in any language is trivial. ... portable system that doesn't contain a lot of ... Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. ...
    (comp.os.vms)