Re: A transmission from Mabu...or was it Frank?

On Sat, 1 Sep 2007 00:53:46 -0400, "Bob Brock" <bbrock@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:


"Gunner" <gunner@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:vhmhd3t7crd6fr561hlr060o7l0c0b8dri@xxxxxxxxxx
Intercepted from a newsgroup...maybe Mabu...maybe Frank G....
They really are so hard to tell apart.....


Begin transmission: ________________________

As I was leaving my house I stuffed my Glock 10mm "man gun" mexican
style in my pants. My backup is a fully customized 1911 with all the
IPSC add on options in my $500.00 leather pancake holster custom made
by Belgian Monks who have devoted their lives to silence and holster
making. These are the ones used by SEAL Team 6, which I used to be a
part of but all records of my activities were destroyed in a fire
"accident".

I put on my Royal Robbins photographer vest to match my pants while
wearing a T-Shirt underneath reading "from my cold dead hands", that
away nobody can see what I'm packing.

I had my Centinial .38 Special in my ankle holster, just like the gun
rag guys carry.

Lastly I had my "Covert Sniper" I.D. Card in my wallet with my
"Concealed Weapons Permit Badge". I was reading for anything.

I drove my Bug Out Truck to the 7-11 for some beer, cause you never
know. It is a performance styled Subaru BRAT with 4 cylinders of
ground pounding fury.

I pull up to the 7-11 store and notice a nefarious looking girlscout
eyeballing me from the back of her mother's SUV. A likely cover.

The mother returned to the truck and went for the keys in her purse,
but I knew from my years of combat honed instincts that she was
actually making a furtive movement for an offensive weapon.

I attempted a tactical shoulder roll, but fell flat on my face, kind
of flopping on the pavement to avoid any incomming rounds and to make
look like I meant to do that. The store owner called 911 which is good
because I then did a roll and attempted to draw my Glock.

Unfortunantly, since I did not have a holster, the gun "went off" and
the bullet creased my weaner. But I was prepared for that and bit down
on a 9mm casing to take my mind off the pain as I dove for the garbage
barrel. Thats when I noticed the girlscout shouting somthing to her
mother who began to take cover. I knew they were closing on me so I
drew my custom trusty 1911 Wilson COMBAT....I knew that they would be
impressed with that. I then duckwalked to the front of her SUV but my
gut kinda got in the way and I fell on my ass, which caused me to
swallow my 9mm casing.

I then tried to roll to my right, but didn't want to scuff my holster
so I just threw myself into telephone pole, but I landed on right side
anyway. So I fired one shot towards the womans SUV to pin them down as
I recovered my wind.

And before the mother knew what was happening, I charged her and I
threw my groin into her knee. I knew that as I vomited on the ground
in front of her that I had interupted her OODA loop, I had the
advantage now. As she ran screaming for the girlscout (I knew she was
going for backup) I made for my Super Charged BRAT tactical truck. I
jumped into the driver seat forgeting that I had left my rare Israeli
contract AR 15 Bayonet on the seat honed to a razors edge. I could
handle it though, half my ass is an implant from war wounds. As I
attempted to start my truck police and paramedics arrived on the
scene. My truck would not start and instead backfired once and caused
the police to tase me. At which point I tactically soiled myself while
in convulsions. My custom 1911 then fell window but I still had my
Centenial .38. I knew that I had to take out the woman with the purse.

So I aimed my revolver at her at which point the first police officer
fired once striking me in the chest, fortunantly I was wearing my
level 3A body armor. I didn't want to hurt the cops, they had
obviously been duped by the evil temptress who was now embracing her
partner in crime and crying to the police in the background, I knew it
was a ruse.

I pulled out my concealed weapons permit badge and showed it to the
officer who shot me and yelled out "I'm one of you guys", he continued
to cover me and ordered me to drop my .38 so I layed it down, I still
had my bayonet after all, attached to my ass. The cop walked toward me
and upon reading the badge maced me right in the eyes. Fortunantly my
Oakly shooting glasses stopped most of the spray and I was able to rip
free of the taser cords easily, it only cost me one nipple, easily
replaced. I dove for the passanger side of my truck and began to run
zig zag for a ditch, unfortunantly the bayonet sticking out of my ass
slowed me down, I knew it would have to be hand to had now. I knew the
cop couldn't take me when I saw here merely carried a Glock 17, not a
mans gun. So I immediatly threw my eye into his right hook, followed
by a knee into his mag light. As I lay thrashing on the ground I took
the heel of my Bates enforcer boot and kicked at the cops ankle, I
knew that from my classified experiences in Tajikistan that once
breaking the ankle, the cop would fall down and I could "stun kick"
him in the head, knocking him out but now hurting him.

Apparantly the cop had also been to Tajikistan because he side steped
me and struck me in the back with his ASP baton, but my trauma plate
absorbed it. I then drew my Benchmade auto knife and was promptly
tased again, but I was ready for it this time and only wet myself a
little bit.

Next thing those cops knew I was unconcious. That'll teach 'em.


Sounds more like one of your wild tales gummer.

No way in hell that Gunner wrote that.

It was clear, concise and entertaining. There were no egregious
spelling or grammar errors, and the word 'libtard' was never uttered.

Nope. Couldn't have been Gummy.

--

"You know I love the ladies. Love to have my fun." - Bill Clinton
.

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