44 Ways to be a Good Conservative
- From: trudogg <independent@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2007 06:09:54 -0400
There are multiple ways you can be a good conservative.
Here's just a sampling:
1) You call yourself pro-life but you support the death penalty.
2) You have to believe that businesses deserve tax breaks and poor and
middle class Americans should pay more
3) You have to believe that the wealthiest among us deserve the
largest tax breaks and poor and middle class Americans should pay more
4) You have to believe that the rights of outdoorsmen and hunters are
at risk because of limited proposals to take cop-killer bullets which
splinter upon impact are having their legitimacy as a tool for hunting
is being questioned
5) You have to believe that you're a protector of wildlife because you
kill wildlife.
6) You believe you're a protector of the environment yet you support
draining marshes and wetlands to make way for businesses.
7) You believe that the 2nd amendment to the constitution says only
"the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be
infringed" but conveniently forget that the first part of that same
sentence says, "A well regulated militia, being necessary to the
security of a free state..."
8) You believe that Ronald Reagan who slashed student grants and fired
air traffic controllers deserves to have a library and an airport
named after him.
9) You believe that North Korea's 2006 test of nuclear weapons was a
result of a blunder made by former President Bill Clinton who left
office in 2000.
10) You have to believe that global warming has more to do with normal
changes in the worlds atmosphere than pollution, destruction of the
ozone layer and emissions caused by the burning of fossil fuels.
11) You believe that drug use is bad except when it comes to drug
abuse by high profile conservative talk radio show hosts.
12) You believe that outlawing gay marriage will keep heterosexual
marriage strong.
13) You believe that gays are immoral yet adulterous talk radio show
hosts are well within their rights to preach morality.
14) You believe that teachers who sometimes work 14+ hour days for
less than $50K a year are overpaid while CEO's who receive millions
are receiving fair compensation.
15) You have to believe that a 4 cell zygote deserves more rights than
a person waiting to stand trial for a crime they have not been
convicted of.
16) You have to believe the ACLU, whose exclusive reason for being is
to protect against abuses of the Bill of Rights, is bad but the NRA
whose goals include legalizing assault rifles, cop killer bullets and
explosives is good.
17) You believe that fiscal responsibility means borrowing money which
future generations will have to pay to give you and businesses a tax
break now.
18) You believe a fee is not a tax.
19) You support unmitigated expansion of casino gaming when
Republicans are in office but you decry gambling as a moral outrage
when Democrats are in power.
20) You believe that Rush Limbaugh is more important to our history
than the forefathers of our country and the makers of the Constitution
of the United States.
21) When speaking of race relations you say things like "I'm not
racist but ..."
22) You believe you are a picture of racial harmony yet you choose to
live in a community where people of other races are not regularly
seen.
23) You believe that proposals to expand or develop mass transit into
your community will result in "a certain element" and "troublemakers"
coming into your neighborhood.
24) You believe it is fair for private schools to get public funds but
that it unfair to make them take students with disabilities.
25) You believe that public schools are bad and private schools are
good.
26) You believe that programs which take money away from public
schools should not affect how well a public school is able to educate
their children.
27) You believe that a person who graduates from college with a
teaching certificate and $100,000 in college debt should be happy to
take a job starting at $20,000 a year and is selfish because they hope
to at least get a pension and health insurance after serving for 30
years of the best years of their lives.
28) You believe in "health savings accounts" where individuals have to
pay for their own health care but oppose regulating the profits of
drug companies.
29) You believe that seniors who break the law and import the
prescription drugs they need to stay alive from foreign countries are
scofflaws but the drug companies that make it impossible for them to
pay their heating bills are upstanding Americans merely responding to
the market conditions of supply and demand.
30) You have to believe that holding people the government suspects of
being an enemy combatant should be shuttled through airports like the
one in Shannon Ireland to transport them to covert torture facilities
yet you believe Rush Limbaugh deserved a speedy trial.
31) You have to believe that a President whose dishonesty led to over
3000 American troops dying and over 50,000 Iraqi's dying should not
even be questioned yet millions of taxpayers dollars should be spent
to prosecute a President accused of getting an extra-marital blow job.
32) You believe that voting abuses only happen in poor areas and the
Republican party is well within their rights to send lawyers to the
polls to intimidate the poor and disenfranchised in neighborhoods they
do not do well in.
33) You believe the working poor who struggle to put food on the table
should have to take unpaid time off from work to get a special voter
ID card which does little more than duplicate the identifying uses of
a home utility bill.
34) You believe that gun owners should be allowed to covertly and
legally carry guns into places like shopping malls, churches,
playgrounds and even events where liquor under the guise that it will
keep our streets safer.
35) You believe that businesses that profit from products they know to
be health hazards while hiding the dangerousness of their products
should receive blanket immunity and the victims who sometimes die or
are crippled by their negligence are just looking to get rich with
"frivolous lawsuits".
36) You believe businesses like Wal-Mart whose employees often have to
rely on government subsidized or sponsored programs for basic health
care should be given tax breaks but their employees don't deserve a
living wage.
37) You believe that State politicians who want to limit local
government officials ability to levy taxes while at the same time
allowing state taxes to grow have your best interests in mind, yet
local officials who typically receive less in compensation and are
more tied to the community are greedy.
38) You believe a pharmacist should be allowed to not fill a
prescription from a womans doctor yet a PETA activist should still
have to check out a customer wanting to purchase meat in a grocery
store.
39) You say you support stem cell research to benefit humans but you
only want researchers to study stem cell lines that have been
compromised by rodents.
40) You continue to believe that the health care system which
currently devastates the nest eggs of so many seniors is not in crisis
and that the answer is health savings accounts (another way of saying
pay for it yourself).
41) You believe you are "pro-business" but say businesses should not
be allowed to attract quality employees by offering fringe benefits
for domestic partners of those potential employees.
42) You believe that after all of the well behaved city kids are
effectively forced to go to a charter school because the only
neighborhood kids who remain are bullies and thugs, that a public
school should still have to "compete" with private schools with
testing standards or else have their funding cut yet again.
43) You believe that the (then) record deficits which occurred under
the twelve years of Reagan-Bush Sr. were just the result of bad timing
due to natural economic trends but that the eight years of surpluses
and economic prosperity under President Bill Clinton were due to the
sound economic policies of Reagan and Bush Sr.
44) You believe that the record deficits and record national debt
under George W. Bush is due to poor decisions made during the previous
administration of Bill Clinton.
.
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