Re: My son's friend

In article <gd89cd$c6t$01$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, NL says...

Banty wrote:
In article <gd84n7$tt$02$1@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, NL says...

How are the teachers handling this?
Mainly they're not. They listen and then go to the next topic (At the
parent teacher conference*).
But one teacher in particular (the one from last year) kept suggesting
to me over and over again to put Sam into a private (!!) school. Where
she thought I'd get the money to do that I don't know, but she kept
telling me "He will not succeed in this school. He would do so much
better in xyz school."

I'll talk to his current teacher on Monday, we're on the last days of
our fall break right now, but I feel there are more problems that need
to be handled _right away_. Like she writing "Visiting grandparents can
never be a reason not to do homework" into his notebook when he did do
his homework. (He had to read and understand a story, which took 3 one
hour sessions. So I'm not cool with that note.

Well, were there visiting Grandparents and did they get pointed to as an excuse?

Sam says no. That's why I need to talk to the teacher. She has marked
homework as incomplete/undone that was indeed done, so I'm not sure what
exactly happened.

*Were* grandparents visiting? I mean, is there any plausibility to what the
teacher said? Possibly, Sam *did* say something along that line.

I think all you need to do is get with the teacher, try to create some kind of
relationship, see what she says, see what Sam says, and usually you can figure
out something close to what the truth is, and go from there.



I know that Sam is a perfectionist and when he feels he can't do
something perfectly he'd rather refuse to do it (huge problem) or he'll
find an excuse as to why he can't do it (equally huge problem). Whatever
happened I need to know how to handle this at home if he comes home with
another note like that one. I mean, I can't prove that we read for three
hours, I don't usually videotape homework... But it's obvious she thinks
I'm letting Sam get away with not doing his homework, which is plain wrong.
It also sends the message to Sam that he will not get into immediate
trouble if he says "I didn't do it because xyz". Which will make matters
worse again, because that way he'll get out of participating in class
_again_.

Get with her with a how-are-we-going-to-work-it-out attitude.

BTW, I'm a single parent, too (from the beginning), and I just didn't bring that
up unless I really needed to. I even would answer to "Mrs. BantyLastName".
It's usually not relevant, so I wouldn't introduce the single mom thing from my
end.



She says the children should do no more than 30 minutes focused
homework. (i.e. dawdling and staring into space gets subtracted from the
time they spend doing homework) But if I'd let Sam stop after 30 minutes
of focused work he'd never get all of his homework done. We spent about
an hour focused wit frequent breaks, so we usually spend all afternoon
(2+ hours) doing homework. In second grade. It's not that he's not smart
enough, once he finally understands what he's got to do he gets it done
quickly, but until he understands, and that's hearing comprehension
which is his problem. I hope that once he's able to read well we won't
have to rely on verbal communication as much anymore but I guess that's
just grasping for straws.

This is very frustrating and has been discussed here many times. My son was
like that too. Said 30 minutes that they always point to isn't the thirty
minutes that a real kid, or at least *my* kid, would put in.


For example, maths: he doesn't understand that 42 is not the same as 24.
It took three hours to get him to understand that it matters where the
numbers stand. Same with 24+6. It's not 12 (2+4+6). It's not 84 (2+6=8
and then attach that 4 to the end). It's not 66 (2+4=6 and attach the 6
to that). Usually after the first 3 false answers he'll start guessing
numbers randomly, which is very frustrating for both of us because for
him there's just no clear concept to follow and for me it's getting
harder and harder to explain it over and over in different ways in the
hopes that something will finally make him understand. He now has a
tutor (who comes to our house and charges 7¤ an hour, ouch) and he's
finally starting to grasp the general concept!

Stick with that tutor!!! That's gold.

Banty

.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: My sons friend
    ... parent teacher conference*). ... But one teacher in particular kept suggesting ... never be a reason not to do homework" into his notebook when he did do ... Sam says no. That's why I need to talk to the teacher. ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: My sons friend
    ... But one teacher in particular kept suggesting ... to me over and over again to put Sam into a private school. ... never be a reason not to do homework" into his notebook when he did do ... Sam says no. That's why I need to talk to the teacher. ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: My sons friend
    ... parent teacher conference*). ... But one teacher in particular kept suggesting ... never be a reason not to do homework" into his notebook when he did do ... Sam says no. That's why I need to talk to the teacher. ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: I hate homework!
    ... When the 15 minutes are over, so is homework. ... do whatever you can to help him concentrate. ... quiz him aloud on spelling and meanings of his words. ... the issue with his teacher. ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: I hate homework!
    ... THe teacher would suggest it, ... He would know that other students *were* finishing the homeworks. ... My daughters had about the same amount of homework in 2nd grade, ...
    (misc.kids)
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