Re: My son's friend

"Cailleach" <cailleach@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:500d0a06-db4a-45b1-a3e6-e456802ee8ad@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Oct 14, 1:41 pm, "Shelley" <swar...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Hi all, I'm a long time lurker, infrequent poster and I was hoping I could
get some opinions.

If you're getting notes from the school then you should probably talk
to the teacher. There's something that doesn't quite sit right with me
about the way the school has handled things so far, including the
behaviour reports on your son and the way the other two boys (your
son's potential new friends) are behaving. If you phrase it as "I'm
concerned about these notes and I'd like the boys to get on better"
rather than "I want this boy to leave my son alone" then there
shouldn't be a problem.

*** I think I may contact the teacher, if for nothing else than for her to
be aware of the situation. ***


There are things that schools sometimes do for kids with those kinds
of problems which can make life a lot easier all round. For a time my
(Aspie) son's school set up a "buddy rota" for his lunch breaks so he
made new friends and didn't over-burden any one child.

*** I do know that last year in K, C had a special friend who ended up being
one of J's friends as well. That's how they all started playing together.
I had heard that they had wanted to separate C and his special friend so
that C could make new friends. It looks like instead of making any new
friends, he's latched on to the one who he knew from last year, which is my
son. It must be hard for him. ****


You could talk to the parents, but do keep keep your tact hat on and
definitely go for "I'd like the boys to get on better" rather than
"get your son to leave my son alone". One strategy that your son, the
other kid and his parents might be comfortable with is to suggest that
things might go better if the boys only sat together on the bus on a
couple of specific days of the week.

*** Silly me I know, but I'll have a hard time bringing it up with his
mother. But if I think of the best way to word it before hand, it may go
OK. I don't want anyone going away upset...I'd just like for them both to
have a good year at school...and I don't want it to escalate to the point
where J doesn't want to play with C at all...ever.****

Thanks for your input.
Shelley


All the best,

Cailleach


My 6 yo son is in grade 1. Last year he mostly played with a group 5 boys,
one of whom he didn't care for as much but since he was a part of the
"group" didn't have any problems. This year, the one boy he didn't care
for
as much is the only one from his group that is in his class.

My son, J, doesn't really want to play with this boy, C, but C won't leave
him alone. C will always sit with him on the bus and follow him around on
the playground. J has become friends with another couple of boys who do
not
like C either and won't play with J if C is around. J has tried to tell C
that he doesn't want to play with him but C still stays around. J has now
gotten in trouble a few times on the bus and at school because of trying
to
get C to leave him alone. C does have some social issues, aspergers I
believe.

I'm not sure what to tell J. I don't want him to be mean to C but at the
same time I don't think he should have to play with C if he doesn't want
to.
My guess is that C is just comfortable with J. Up to now, I've just let J
tell me what's going on and have told him not to be mean to C and explain
that C likes him as a friend and just wants to play with him. Is there
anything I should or could do or should I just leave it alone and let him
figure it out. My biggest concern right now is that it is leading to some
problems where I got notes home from school. Should I have a talk with
their teacher. Thanks for listening.
--
Shelley
mom to 2 boys (6 and 3)


.

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