Re: Well, it's finally the end.
- From: "Kat" <xkatx@xxxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2008 07:46:17 -0600
"Chookie" <ehrebeniuk@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:ehrebeniuk-B8E739.17290119092008@xxxxxxx
In article <K3uzk.8908$PK.593@xxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Kat" <xkatx@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
So... long story short, after all is said and done, N is gone.
I'm very sorry that it's ended like this instead of with him cleaning up
his
act.
Maybe it's better like this. I know it's going to play out exactly like it
always does. He'll be back at the door and it will be the same thing. As
always, I can't say exactly when, but I definitely do think it will be the
same way he plays this game. This time, though, I will not play along. I
will not act the same way that I always have, even though I'm pretty sure he
will act as he always does (comes back, Oooh, I'm sorry... I screwed up...
I'm a loser... It won't happen again... I need help... and act like
everything is just fine)
Along with everyone else, I vote you close your bank accounts and change
your
locks asap. And I DO think you should contact the school, not just to
discuss
the pickup issue but also to let them know that your kids might need a bit
of
help for a while. But make VERY sure that you aren't going to be liable
for
any of his debts and that he can't clean out your bank accounts or your
house.
If another family member can be present when he collects his stuff, you
might
be less likely to brain him (or vice versa).
The bank accounts are dealt with, although with his account, I am such a
dummy. When he came here Sunday, I gave him his card... But I didn't write
the card numbers down to still be able to log in to his account online. I
had originally wanted to take off the bills that are on his account for
online banking and bill payment, but then I figure what for. He doesn't
have access to any of the bills. Every bill is in my name, so there's no
worry of him calling and disconnecting services or anything, and with the
bills, it has to be me calling. So the worst that could happen is he pays a
bill online - not that I think he would LOL
For his stuff, he said he'd call and pick it up on Wednesday. It's Friday
now and still no word. so forget that. I'm not going to make it easy and
convenient for him now. I'm not going to answer the phone for a little
while (a couple days at least) when he tries calling. Then I guess I'll let
him know that his stuff is outside the yard in bags and if he doesn't pick
them up soon, I will get rid of them. Or he can hope it doesn't rain or
something all over bagged clothes and papers lol
Maybe I'll see if my brother can come over here, but the problem with that
is that I don't ever know when N will show up. He said he'd call and come
get his stuff on Wednesday. It's more than likely going to be like every
other time with him just showing up, even though I specifically said I was
not interested in uninvited and unexpected visits from him lol
Next step is social security -- as a single parent, you may be eligible
for
some kind of support, or for higher rates of support than you have
previously
been eligible for. Ditto for health insurance (public or private), and
other
insurance policies you might have; might save some money to have one less
adult in the house/car.
I'd probably be eligible for welfare lol I already get the max for things
like the Child Tax Credit. The kids are covered fully with health insurance
due to us being under the max income line to be eligible. I am also
currently fighting with my health benefits as I am eligible for a similar
coverage for health due to income amount and I'm pregnant, but they're
giving me the runaround (long story) but I won't let this one go lol
He doesn't have a license, so he is not an issue on my car insurance, and
the house insurance, he is covered for his stuff because it didn't make any
difference on the cost of the policy. They said it went more on type of
dwelling and my broker told me it would pretty much be the same if I lived
here with 3 kids or with 3 adults. I think special circumstances are if you
don't have what would normally be expected in a normal house.
One last issue is grandparents and other relatives on his side -- you will
have to work out some way for them to see the children. (Assuming they
aren't
druggies and live close.)
LOL forget them. His brother is just like him. I've actually made it clear
well over a year ago that I don't want his brother around here. He and I
had some issues about a year and a half ago involving him coming to visit
(which I didn't mind) but his brother refusing to leave a backpack of dope
in his vehicle and keep it out of the house. So I just took the backpack
and put it outside, saying I didn't want a backpack of drugs in my house,
period. His brother and I pull ourselves together when we do see eachother
(like, say, if we see eachother at Christmas or something) but other than
that, no thanks. His mother hasn't seen the kids since DS's birthday - end
of Jan. She rarely calls, doesn't ever come over, so whatever with them.
In all honesty, I see no real big loss. The kids don't ever see her anyways,
but if she did call then I wouldn't have any issue with her coming here or
us going to see her if we were available. Same with his sister. Haven't
seen her face in so long I can't even remember the last time. They all live
in the city, though, so if none cared to see the kids before, I don't see
how that will change much at all.
Best wishes,
--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)
http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/
.
- References:
- Well, it's finally the end.
- From: Kat
- Re: Well, it's finally the end.
- From: Chookie
- Well, it's finally the end.
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