Re: Kids Group Birthday Party - Potluck

Banty wrote:
In article <69udncgSk_JWiPjVnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxx>, Stephanie
says...

Banty wrote:
In article <FZidnQqow8cFsvnVnZ2dnUVZ_gednZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxx>, Ericka
Kammerer says...

Beth Kevles wrote:
"I'm so sorry! We'd really love to come, but it's a bit too
expensive for us to manage. Could we invite your family over for
a visit instead, and give him our gift then?"

I'd be cautious with this. There's nothing inherently
impolite about it, but whenever you give a reason for declining
you run the risk that they'll argue with you over it, or start
trying to nickel and dime your "excuses" away. Sometimes you're
better off just to say you're sorry but you won't be able to
attend. Then repeat ad nauseam, if needed. That can annoy
people to, but at least it doesn't give them fodder for an
argument. If you give a reason, go in prepared with how
you'll respond if they come back with a counter proposal
("We'd hate to miss you. Tell you what, we'll take care
of X so you can come." Now, are you stuck going and bringing
the food for the potluck and whatever else is not X? Where's
your line?) Also, even if they don't start making offers,
you can open yourself up for all sorts of criticism ("Well,
you could afford X. Isn't Johnny as important to you as X?
Surely you could afford it if family was a priority...")

Yeah, Ericka's right - while I totally agree with the sentiment,
when I read that I could just picture the hostess hanging up the
phone saying "phewwwwww - - CHEEEP". Then calling up whomever
else in the family and saying "do you know what SHE SAID?? She
said...>>ahem<<< get this get this - she said ::putting on haughty
voice:: 'it's a bit too expensive for us to manage' CAN YOU
IMAGINE??!".


I am curious. If someone did this, would it be troublesome? I mean,
anyone who is jerky enough to pull this even on a normal scale I
cannot imagine caring!


I've seen it often enough.

Banty

Yeah someone might DO it. That doesnt seem all that strange. But it reflects
more poorly on them than on the person declining the invitation. So... I
guess I would be hard pressed to consider that in my calculations.


.

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