Re: The Truth About Family Dinners

In article <N9udnYHGxO1cJaXanZ2dnUVZ_qSonZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxx>, Stephanie says...


<Mary_Gordon@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1194886508.737597.167620@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Its interesting that Sunday was considered the most convenient night
and Friday the least.

My closest friend for many years comes from a conservative Jewish
family, and obviously, Friday night dinners are the norm for her
family.

My observation is that it worked GREAT for them, probably because the
expectation on family members was to show up and eat together, and
that's it. No one was expected or made to feel obligated to hang
around for an extended visit before or after (although many chose to).



I think obligation is a piss poor reason to do MOST family fun activities.



The younger people of the family would bounce in, eat and be done in
time to go out for their evening social activity no later than 7 or
so. The really wonderful part was how often they would bring their
friends, significant others etc. It was very welcoming, there was
always room for one more, and there wasn't this huge pressure to
commit to an extended visit. The theory was yah gotta eat, so it might
as well be at Bubbe's house.

It was a tremendous success for their very large extended family -
everyone saw each other and got caught up at least once a week (and it
was always fun to see who would turn up).

If my father had done something similar for Sunday night, there would
have been this big fat guilt trip laid on all of us to turn it into a
really long excruciating visit. Sunday is BAD for us with school aged
kids (lots of stuff happening Sunday evenings plus baths and earlier
bedtimes).



Sounds like the problem is ogligatory nonsense to accomidate some who
requires too much obligation!

On the subject of Sunday dinner, when I was growing up we did large Sunday
dinners almost every Sunday. BUT we ate at 3:00 or so in the afternoon. I
come from a ginormous family and we had great aunts and uncles still living,
aunts and uncles. We kids were allowed to invite a friend. If you were old
enough to date, you often brought your boyfriend or girlfriend . Mom and Dad
would make a nice big dinner. We'd eat and socialize like crazy. Kids would
play, older kids would start football games. It was a load of fun and THE
place to be.

We still have friends over for Sunday dinner very early and it works pretty
well. No one wants to face having to get their hard playing kids home,
tubbed and scrubbed and ready for school the next day after a normal dinner
hour out.


Would that!

Especially pre-kid, or now that my son is a teen, but even when he was littler,
to arrive at three, visit awhile, then bid a cheery farewell at 5 pm would be..
would be..would be.... downright curt!

Heck - even to show up for the dinner at dinner time - why, that's testament to
sheer selfishness - just to show up for the goods and deny the hosts the yammer
time!

I've always suspected the 3:00 pm dinners were set to draaaawwwww ooouuuttt the
affair.

Banty

.

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