Re: Help - I have a middle child!!!!!!

In article <1193796648.659777.10550@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, Elizabeth
says...


(Much stuff below..)

Well, other than looking at your subject line and telling you you could have
avoided having a middle child by having an even number of children (you can
still fix that...) ;-)

...I can't say much without some detail. Reading through this, the only things
that stand out to me are "lies" and "stealing" and the reasons (which would fit)
that this behavior is a bid for attention.

What, exactly, is the most problematic behavior? Give an example.

Banty

I am a very tired mom to 3. My oldest(11) is a good boy, keeps his
grades good in school and generally stays out of trouble. My youngest
(7) is a princess - she doesnt like helping with the household chores
and her dad cuddles her on everything. It's my middle child that
really promotes ALEVE. She is 9 years old and is on the bridge from
playing with toys to liking boys. She is smart as a whip but her
grades wouldnt back that thought up. She can be a very loving child
but her attitude typically says otherwise, and we really try to
provide a good home being a middleclass family with three - it can be
challenging. She usually has whatever she deserves. We don't just give
her what she wants - she has to really earn it or wait til holiday
time or birthday. She has a big problem with lies and theft.
Being a prior teenager I know the signs of my own unruly behavior
but she has had me run through the mill. I haven't had the time for my
other 2 due to her acting out and the stress has left me with
migraines and backaches. I can't afford therapy and I looked for tough
love meetings in my area but there none - so I rely on support groups.
This will be my first. I have looked into military school, and I toyed
with the idea of ADHD and medication but I don't believe that is the
answer for her because she is so independent and I love that about her
- kinda... I am tired of making excuses for her behavior - it started
out that she was this way due to her big brother having cancer while I
was pregnant with her little sister so she was left alot with grandpa
who spoiled her - I used to say that I she was pushed aside and was
never given the attention she needed. Well she is much older now and
that doesnt wash with me. I expect her to the difference between right
and wrong and demonstrate it. If anything I am always looking for
reasons to spend time alone with her - cheerleading, bike rides,
nature walks, whatever interests her. Yet she still acts like this.
Please send me some suggestions - I let you know if I tried it and
then you maybe you can advise me on how to do it better.
Elizabeth


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