Re: What to do when your son tell you he hates you.

On Oct 25, 10:00 am, Rosalie B. <gmbeas...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Beliavsky <beliav...@xxxxxxx> wrote:
On Oct 25, 9:20 am, enigma <eni...@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
Beliavsky <beliav...@xxxxxxx> wrote innews:1193317114.673373.155960@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:

On Oct 24, 10:20 pm, Rosalie B. <gmbeas...@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
wrote:

It is true that grades do count, but basically there's
always a college that will accept hs grads even if their
grades are abysmal. Maybe not their first choice, but they
can go somewhere.

Not everyone should go to college. If a kid is doing poorly
in high school there is in general little reason to think
he will flourish in college, with more advanced material
and less adult supervision.

Yes there are some who shouldn't go to college, but doing poorly in HS
is NOT a reason to think he (usually he) won't do well in college.

Some students just shouldn't go to college right after HS.

True. You have to look at the kid's motivation. The kid who's just
going through the motions, just going because all his friends are --
just like in high school -- that kid probably won't do well. Some kids
just don't really get, on a gut level, what Mom & Dad have been saying
for years -- your behavior now is going to limit your options later.
(2 friends have kids like this -- they changed their ways in HS only
after the Counselor laughed at them when they told her what schools
they planned to apply to.)

GPA is a handy winnowing tool for admissions counselors, because a
high GPA generally indicates a kid is motivated. Those with poor
grades are dicier choices -- you can't tell if they weren't motivated,
if they were not able to do the work, if they had other priorities
(taking care of ill parent and 6 younger sibs, working 40 hours a week
because parent kicked them out, etc.) Mitigating circumstances are
one reason that colleges often require admissions essays, so they can
look past the GPA.


i agree somewhat, but what exactly do you think those kids are
going to do for a living? flip burgers for the rest of their
life? turn to crime?

Are you really unaware of the vast number of jobs that don't require a
college degree? There are truck drivers, plumbers, constuction workers
etc. who earn more than some college graduates, for example school
teachers. It is important not to make kids feel like failures just
because they are not college material. I certainly hope my kids will
be college material, but I don't want to prejudge the question.

Earnings is not the total reason that people benefit from college or
necessarily the reason that children should go.

Absolutely--very well put. College was never meant to be a fast track
to a fat paycheck.

My grandson was judged not to be 'college material' and decided in the
first semester that college was too hard and dropped out. After
working on his own for about 5 years (he couldn't get an
apprenticeship as a plumber or an electrician - those trades are not
something that a burger flipper can just pick up overnight), he
decided to go back to college and be a teacher. And he's doing well
there. It was just a question of priorities. He had to want it for a
goal of his own.

Bingo! (And... it's sometimes hard to admit, when you're a young
adult, that Mom and Dad were right about something...)

Lori G.
Milwaukee


.

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