Re: What to do when your son tell you he hates you.

In article <1193065241.401721.137110@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>,
Beliavsky <beliavsky@xxxxxxx> wrote:

The b-word is not my in 4yo's vocabulary, and if it crept in, besides
disciplining him I would make him tell me where he learned to talk
trash so I could eliminate that influence. There will, for example,
never be "gangster rap" in my earshot.

Er, how old are your children again?

DS1 heard his first swear word (the S one) at age 4, from an older boy, in my
back yard. He didn't try it out at home -- I suspect he started repeating it
then and was told not to say That Word in front of adults. So he tried it out
at day care. The carer looked at him in absolute horror. "Oops, " said DS1,
"We don't say that word." "No," replied the carer, "We don't!" That was
sufficient discipline -- we have never heard him say it since. Incidentally,
I KNOW that the other child's mother would have been horrified to hear her
child using this word, and am not planning to "eliminate that influence".
What would *you* do in this circumstance -- lovely parents, lovely 4yo, 8yo
closet potty-mouth? It will arise.

Note that if your child spends time with older children (as seems likely, if
you have him accelerated), they will hear these words. I knew every English
swear word by the end of primary school; how about you? DS1 heard the F-word
from his 4th-grader friends, but has not used it in our earshot since he first
asked his Daddy about it. *Knowledge* does not equal *indiscriminate usage*,
and parental example is a wonderful teacher.

Which brings me to another point. I once heard a group of well-brought-up
girls, from privileged families, nice girls who certainly did not swear,
talking to the proprietor of a laundromat. This woman was rough-looking and
weatherbeaten, definitely working class. Apparently that exempted the girls
from using words like please and thank you -- and their whole demeanour was
disrespectful. I was embarrassed to know them, but it told me a lot about how
their parents treated The Servant Classes!

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

http://chookiesbackyard.blogspot.com/
.

Relevant Pages