Re: Nine year old daughter displays temper

In article <XFGzi.14$Ah3.8@trndny04>, Stephanie says...


"Beliavsky" <beliavsky@xxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1187895350.422509.101000@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
On Aug 23, 2:16 pm, don <doncher...@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Nine year daughter old screams

My nine year old daughter, I am told, is excellently behaved in
school.
When she comes home, however, she displays a streak of temper and
intolerance toward her younger sisters (ages seven and four) that
frustrates me. If they do something that she considers unfair, but
that I consider minor and typical of young girls (example: play with
her toy without asking and leave it on the floor), she may start to
scream at the top of her lungs at them (particularly at the seven year
old) and sometimes hit as well.

If I intervene and calmly-but-firmly express displeasure with her
behavoour, she directs her screaming at me (or at my wife), and may
scream "leave me alone" or may even try to punch me. Threatening and
following through on punishments (example: no Internet today unless
you stop now) does not seem to work.

A child who even thinks about punching a parent is overdue for a
spanking. That would be the obvious answer 50 years ago, and I doubt
that Americans are doing a better job of rearing well-behaved children
today.

Lately, after a threat on my
part in the middle of one of her outbursts, she sometimes yells "OK,
take away all my privledges".

The ultimate privilege is her living with her family. I live in a
duplex, and when repeated scoldings and time-outs have not worked with
my 4yo, (usually involving his treatment of his 2yo brother), I have
on occasion put him in the corridor between the two units and closed
the door. A minute later, he is subdued. Children ought to be a little
afraid of their parents, especially their fathers. My parents were and
are great, but I knew they were boss.


Oh God! I was afraid of my mother. You bet your sweet bippy I lied in order
to get out of things rather than come to her for help when teenage years!
You reap what you sow.


Yep. Rule by fear is a Bad Idea in most cases. Doesn't even work for dictators
in the long run.

Banty

.

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