Re: To quit or not to quit?

On Jul 27, 1:32?pm, Vickie <vic...@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
On Jul 27, 10:07 am, Chris <chrispeters...@xxxxxxx> wrote:





On Jul 26, 10:42?am, Vickie <vic...@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

On Jul 25, 5:39 pm, Chris <chrispeters...@xxxxxxx> wrote:

On Jul 25, 12:10?pm, Vickie <vic...@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:

Well I did it again!

I signed my kids up for soccer and my son is having a brilliant time
of it. My daughter not so much. She had asked to play and we went
over it saying she needs to try her best and not quit, she agreed.
Uhhhh, not turning out good at all.

In another NG group we were speaking of confidence. She is definitely
not gaining too much on this team, she has the least amount of
knowledge of the girls. Her body language on the field is of crossing
arms or hands in pockets, with her shoulders slumped most of the
time. It is actually painful to watch, but I have kept up with the
encouragement.

I can tell she really does not want to play on the team anymore. My
husband thinks she is not in her element, and that staying on the
team, being miserable, is no good to her or us. I am thinking,
perhaps, with more practice she will get better- then enjoy her time
on the team. And of course there is the value of learning not to just
up and quit when things are tough.

The last thing I want to do is hurt her self-confidence even more.
She is the one of my three who lacks it the most. (And we are working
on it!)

Advice would be most kind. Thanks guys.

Vickie

I would let her quit. How old is she? I think there is a time when one
thinks they will like something and promise to see it through not
understanding it all yet and a time when they can understand what
following through with a commitment means. Since you've paid for the
season, just ask her every day there is a scheduled game if she would
like to play soccer today and see if practicing moves in the backyard
works up her confidence level, if that is really the issue at all. She
may have been attracted to it initally simply because some of her
friends seemed to enjoy it so much, only to discover it isn't her cup
of tea.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

She is 9.
I hear what you are saying, but I couldn't do that. Not fair to the
other kids. And, I think, coaches have the right to say *no practice,
no play*. Other than skill building for practice, you get that team
spirit thing going. She would look an outcast even more by not
showing up, then just coming for a game when she felt like it, in my
opinion.

Vickie- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

I certainly don't see why she can't attend the practices to get the
tips she can work on in private at home throughout a week with you
guys, thereby building her own confidence level in an environment she
may be more comfortable in. Can you imagine the embarrassment and
stress she may feel? In our league, if you miss a game due to any
reason, you aren't punished for it, and we've missed games for various
reasons. I also can't see discussing the situation with her coach to
have a bad outcome either or that the coach wouldn't have words of
encouragement to share as a result of it. Heck, if she stinks that
badly at it, and her teammates and coaches are THAT competitive, they
probably won't even care if she is present at a game because they
won't lose out on anything, but at least she is trying to learn it via
practice and making a sincere effort to better herself. Again, at 9
years old, it if is not a confidence issue and merely that she doesn't
like it, I'd let her quit, especially since it was something that she
thought she would like and it turned out she doesn't. I've quit paying
jobs because it wound up being described iinaccurately to me in an
interview or because it wasn't what I thought it was going to be, and
you can bet I'm not sticking with it as a "commitment" as a result.
lol. That being said, I have taken on projects WITH a commitment, that
I will practically kill myself over sticking with it. It's a game, and
if she isn't enjoying it, then what is the point?- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you were speaking of not attending
practices or only attending a handful, then showing up to some games.
Because this I think would be unfair to the team.

I think what I will do is work with it at home with her, put her in
camps, and then see where she is at next season. That is if she is
still interested and hasn't found something else fun or more suitable
to her personality.

Vickie- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

I wasn't really clear. I'm always doing 3 things at once over here.
lol. If she winds up not wanting to practice with you at home, then
you'll definitely know she doesn't like it for sure.

.

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