Re: My 3 year old is jealous of my computer

On Sun, 25 Mar 2007 09:15:39 -0400, Sue wrote:

<sgaylec@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1174766879.858092.294000@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In addition, his father has hours away from home so when he is
home it is all play time with his father. The 'daddy is home and
plays' - mommy is home and doesn't play with me is creating havoc with
our relationship.

That's okay though. Why does that bother you?

It bothers her because it is affecting their relationship. Sure, it could
just be a phase, but Mom suspects this is what it is and I would trust
mother's intuition on this one.

Parents often take on
different roles to the child and that's okay and it changes throughout their
years. Kids are pretty smart in learning different things that you want
them to. It's okay to teach your son that your work is at home on the
computer and that Dad works away at his job. Can you actually show your son
what you do (even though he may not understand), he may understand a little
more and you keep re-inforcing it. When daddy is at home and playing with
your son, are you using that time to work?

I think it's okay for OP to teach the son that she works at home and at the
computer, but it is unfair for her to expect the son to go entertain
himself for hours at a time while she is on the computer. At least in
daycare or with other care, the child would not be ignored.

I don't mean to imply the child needs mother's attention 24/7, but a child
should have to entertain himself for hours at a time. If she needs him to
do that, then she needs to let him be with someone who will provide him
some stimulation.

Some might compare OP's work with SAHM, but that job does not usually need
uninterrupted hours. You can tend to them and talk to them while doing the
laundry. The child can participate, etc. He does not need to be totally
ignored like in this situation. Older children might understand but not
toddlers. Even if they do understand, if they are going to be ignored
during the day, it is better to have attention from some other provider
than be ignored -- i.e., get daycare or mother's helper or babysitter.

Of course. I have three girls ages 14, 11, and 10 years old. They have never
been to daycare because I have always worked at home. They are funny in that
different times in their life they have told me that they would rather go to
daycare. If they were at daycare, they would rather be at home.

How do you know that if they've never been to daycare? My kids have been
in daycare part time because I work and they don't say they'd rather be
home. In fact, they beg for daycare/preschool because it's so much fun.

There are a lot of people who are proud their kids never went to daycare.
but that can be a very stimulating environment when chosen well. I am not
offended at all by that sentiment, but I really wonder why it is so
important to keep them from daycare. If a mom needs to ignore her only
child for hours at a time to get work done, wouldn't the child benefit more
having those hours spent being stimulated in another environment or by
another person?

Okay, I have worked at home as a medical transcriptionist for as many years
as my children are. The easiest was when they were newborns. The hardest was
when they were toddlers. I actually took some time off during the toddler
years because it was so hard. When DD3 turned 3 yrs old, I started working
at home again. DD1 was in 1st grade and DD2 was in kindergarten. I never had
child care in my home and only had a break when they went to school.

I see you understand where OP is coming from. However, I venture to add
that you did take time off work when they were toddlers and that when you
returned, the youngest had sibblings to entertain her. I assume she had
quiet or naptime and then afterwards, the siblings came home from school.
That would give you the whole afternoon to get work done. Sure, they may
want you now and then; but there were siblings, she was not alone. If you
shoo them off, you are shooing them off to be with each other. OP's child
sounds like an only child. If he's anything like my oldest (needed more of
my attention than my youngest), I can see where she is having problems.
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Kids and an instrument...
    ... My 17 year old son is an only child. ... He grew up hearing me play every day. ... Kids are likely to fill their free time with nonproductive ...
    (rec.music.makers.guitar.jazz)
  • Re: Child abuse or not
    ... who picked on at school etc, such that he is let out early from school to ... During the holidays my son phoned this lad virtually each day and was told ... I have seen them play and they do generally get on well. ... find it too stressful to supervise someone else's child. ...
    (uk.legal)
  • Re: My sons friend
    ... My 6 yo son is in grade 1. ... My son, J, doesn't really want to play with this boy, C, but C won't leave ... J has become friends with another couple of boys who do not ... If a child do not relent by love, ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: Benefits of daycare for 20-month old?
    ... for daycare + the nanny for the rest of the week. ... Are there really any benefits to the child if she goes to daycare ... play area and a gymboree-type indoor play room for gross motor, ... As someone who teaches toddler music classes, ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Has your child(ren) changed your perspective on life?
    ... I never thought I would have a child. ... As much as I am not happy with my job/career, ... of my son, i dont care if i end up flipping burgers at McDonald's one ... Play with him, show him all about ...
    (misc.kids)