Re: writing


"Ericka Kammerer" <eek@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:yrWdnSktEq1mUGzYnZ2dnUVZ_hudnZ2d@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Stephanie wrote:
"Ericka Kammerer" <eek@xxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
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Stephanie wrote:

The problem I have is the notion that a child need to learn to do
something that they are not ready to learn in order to make the
administration of a bloated system easier.
Do you know that?


We all have to go with what we know.

I assume for years that my eldest
was just a late bloomer. He wasn't. He had an innate issue
that got in the way of his writing, and it didn't magically
go away with age.


Luckily DS is 6 and in kindy. We have time.

I would give my eye teeth to have gotten him the
help he needed earlier. It would have made many things
easier.


You know what? You are making me rethink discussing this with teh doc now.
The one thing that just touched down in my head is the sequencing. You know
those sequencing cards that tell as story? You are supposed to put them in
order? He has always had a hard time withthose.

After learning some specific coping skills,
he was able to do better and eventually became much more
fluent with writing, though it's not something he enjoys
and he does much better typing. It had nothing to do with
school expectations or his age or anything like that. He'd
have struggled to write even if he'd been homeschooled, and
even if he could have waited until later to write.
That may not be the case for your son. Having
struggled for years before getting a diagnosis, however,
my advice would be to find out what you're dealing with
rather than making assumptions, as what you describe
sounds significantly more severe than what my son dealt
with.

Where did I say it was severe?

You didn't. However, your descriptions of what
he is doing indicated more difficulties than my eldest
had at that age. *IF* it is due to dysgraphia, or something
like that, then he may have it to a greater degree than
my son does.

His teacher did not even bring it up at the last conference, I did.

None of my son's teachers ever mentioned it. Few
had any awareness of the issue even after it had been diagnosed
and mentioned to them.

Anyway, I am sorry you had difficulty with your son. I certainly bring
these development issues up with the ped at every checkup!

His earlier pediatricians didn't clue in either,
even though I thought they were quite good at what they did.
Sad to say, but most look for kids who are doing poorly in
school as their indicator that there's something that needs
looking into. Very bright kids can compensate in many ways,
so they keep carrying on and finding a way to do well in
school, but it comes at a significant cost to them. As
Donna mentioned elsewhere, if they're not failing or performing
below grade level, it is common to assume there's no problem.
DS2 has had issues with reading, and while his teachers and
the principal were understanding, pretty much everyone agreed
that we wouldn't have a prayer qualifying for special ed.
services because despite the millstone around his neck, he
was still performing above grade level. So, we had to work
in other ways to deal with his reading issues. Similarly,
with DS1's writing (and other) issues, they didn't really
get anxious about his performance because overall, he was
compensating. It was just that homework became agony every
night, when the teachers weren't there to see.
Anyway, my point is that when you get into the
issues of the "twice gifted," an awful lot of people just
don't have the knowledge and experience to provide much
guidance. You have to be the one to assess whether or not
it's necessary to get an evaluation. That's hard to figure
out. Sometimes it *is* just age and maturity, and it gets
fixed admirably with Tincture of Time. On the other hand,
there are consequences to ignoring an issue that causes
a child to be out of phase with himself developmentally--
and it can be especially frustrating to a child who is
very bright and keenly aware of the gap between what he
*wants* to do and what he can make his body do.
I totally understand where you are. I've sung
that song myself. I never wanted to be the pushy parent
whose little prince had to always be the best and the
brightest in everything. The consequence of that has
been that I've been slow to get my children help for
things that have been frustrating *for them*. I kept
saying they'd get there in their own sweet time, and
we could all be patient. While I still agree with that
to some extent, I now also see that it's not just about
external expectations. It's also about *internal*
expectations. When they're out of balance with themselves,
they find that frustrating, regardless of what others
expect of them.
It could certainly be the case that your son
is just a bit of a late bloomer with the writing.
Nevertheless, if there *is* an underlying issue,
waiting doesn't necessarily do him any favors. It
just mean the gap widens between what he thinks and
what he can express--a gap that is already larger
than usual in many gifted kids.

Best wishes,
Ericka


.

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