Re: Encouraging play and books- was:Re: Rude or am I expecting too much?

"blue" <noemail165375@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in
news:0vydnU2iMpQ9F5TYnZ2dnUVZ_rCdnZ2d@xxxxxxx:


"enigma" <enigma@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote
it just gets really frustrating to buy him toys because he
*doesn't play*. he has several hundred Matchbox/Hot Wheel
cars that mostly are piled in a bin. he has dozens of the
1:64 scale John Deere tractors & accessories... but he
only gets angry that they don't really work. he has Legos,
& Magneatos & Tinkertoys & wooden blocks. the only way
he'll 'play' with any of those is if a grownup sits down &
builds him something... and then he might spend less than
5 minutes watching the process.
so, no, i don't think i'll be causing him hours of therapy
later. he doesn't *get* the concept of toys or play.
lee

My 2.5 year old is like this. She won't play with baby
dolls in any way, shape or form which is fine. She also has
and does as you describe above. She has MegaBlocks, Fisher
Price Little People sets (farm and dollhouse and amusement
park), Playskool Weebles, matchbox cars, Pop-Onz, other
blocks, and a kitchen set with tons of cool realistic play
foods. She basically won't play with much of it alone and
when she does it is very brief and she usually just
scatters it out then wanders off. She will play with it if
an adult sits down with her but like you said, she will
watch for about 5 minutes before she wanders off then. She
has a tricycle she won't ride...etc. She'd rather do
"gymnastics" on the floor, jump around, and dance to the
music on tv which is always on in the background. She is no
couch potato--she's extremely energetic.

none of that sounds terribly unusual for a 2.5 year old... my
son is 6. big difference :)
however, unless you have a music channel on the TV you might
consider shutting that off & using a CD player or radio for
background. i think TV shortens a child's attention span
unless it's really kept in moderation (less than an hour/day).
TV is *very* distracting with it's moving images.

We have wondered if we wasted our money on "big" birthdays
and Christmases, all those toys. We aren't considering not
getting her anything but we think we are going to cut way
back and she probably won't even notice. ??? Is this normal
for a 2-3 year old? Others I have seen her age come over
and are all over her toys playing, she even goes to their
homes with news toys and doesn't play much. She loves to
play with the kid, it's the *objects* and material things
she doesn't care much about.

um, yeah, it's very possible to overload the kid with too
many things. at her age though, it really isn't likely yet.
it's a good time to look carefully at how many toys she has &
what types of toys or activities she is really interested in.
although it's really hard, stop buying her everything you
wished you had as a child.

She is sort of the same way about books, she is not too
interested or attached. Now THIS disappoints me, though I
don't show it. I was never in daycare or preschool but I
was reading before kindergarten (and writing basic words),
and LOVED to read in elementarty and junior high. How can I
get DD to sit still to be read to, and play??? Technically
she will be 2 and a half in early November. She is smart as
a whip and loves people. Her pediatrician says she has the
vocabulary and sentence structure of the average 4 year
old. Her fine motor skills are a little above average as
well...her people skills seem to be better than mine, as
she is not shy, and doesn't seem to ne sensitive or prone
to hurt feelings- lol.

you *can't* get her to sit still at her age, but don't worry
about that. read to her anyway! it doesn't matter if she's
hopping around the room & doesn't seem to be paying attention.
what matters is that you read to her. make sure she also sees
the adults in her life reading for enjoyment.
since she is, most likely, a tactile learner, dance around
with her & sing nursery rhymes. show her how to do clapping
rhythms. those are good intros to the cadence of reading.

But because she is so smart, I want to get her into books,
and I want the experience of reading to her a lot-- instead
of her sitting on my lap babbling and trying to wriggle
away and not paying the book a bit of attention. She does
LIKE books just seems not to want to sit still. But
wouldn't you know she loves to calm down before bed by
watching those droning Baby Einstein videos..she'll watch
for an hour while dozing off.

let her "read" the book to you... but don't force her to sit
still on your lap if she doesn't want to. try to get her to
sit & read to you. let her tell you about the pictures.
or have her tell you a story while she's dancing around (or
while you're doing mommy stuff). if she's verbal, she might
enjoy that (my son was nonverbal until 3 & barely
understandable until 5 or so). my mom did that with me, & i
was reading before age 3 too.
BTW, the LeapFrog videos Letter Factory & Word Factory are
really fun ways to learn phonics & letter sounds. you might
consider those when she's a bit older. you *don't* want to
push learning!

So anyway I have subscribed her to Baby Bug and LadyBug
magazines (expensive!) which have not arrived yet but she
does love to thumb through things and talk about what she
sees.

great! Boo still loves Ladybug. they're great magazines for
kids. if she talks about the pictures, that's prereading.

Oh yes........she also doesn't play with Playdough
"right"- she opens it up, tears it off into tiny chunks and
leaves it to dry instead of trying to build or mush it. She
won't color either, with crayons. She prefers to scribble a
big jumble with markers. Any tips on harnessing her in?

time. that's normal for her age. let her scribble & mush. :)

lol...she is obviously very bright...I am not an
experienced parent at all, she is my only, so what I want
to know- is this her personality? Or is it her age and it
could change when she's 4 or 5? Or is it fairly common?
What is this??

she sounds like a happy, normal 2.5 year old. i'm sure by the
time she's 4, she won't be scribbling ;)

I wonder if part of it is this: I was overjoyed to have
her, and am giving her MY dream childhood. I get her
anything she shows interest in and don't push my interests
on her..I was a tomboy but I did love to role play with
baby dolls and feed and dress and "parent" them. She has no
interest in baby dolls, so after the first one she doesn't
like, I don't buy her any of that. She likes to brush
Barbie dolls hairs and loves those so I am buying her quite
a collection of those for when she's old enough. I loved
books, so I buy a ton of good books. Since pregnancy I have
had her the usual goodies- Goodnight Moon, Sandra Boyton's
silly ones, etc. I buy her Play Dough and just all the
stuff that I would be in heaven for. I am giving her my
dream childhood. But I make sure to respond to what she
shows interest in. Anything she likes, I'll get it for
her...have I made her take it for granted?

like i said earlier, it's her childhood, not yours. yes,
overdoing the gifting can make her take too much for granted.
it is NOT a bad thing to not get everything you want & it's
really something you should stop and seriously consider now,
while she's very young. it is not pretty when a kid reaches 4
or 5 and *expects* mom to buy any little (or big) trinket that
she has a passing interest in. and it isn't a good feeling
when you buy a $200 toy & find the kid has lost interest
before you even get home...
i'm mom to an only & i'm friends with another mom with a
formerly very spoiled 6 year old daughter... she gave her
child *everything* & realized, when her daughter was 4 &
starting preschool, that she had developed an out-of-control
brat. it was hard for her to put on the brakes & say, 'ok, i
goofed'. it's been very hard on the little girl, who suddenly
wasn't the princess being waited on hand & foot... but now, 2
years later, i think she's really a lot happier having a lot
less.
lee

--
Question with boldness even the existence of god; because if
there be
one, he must more approve the homage of reason than that of
blindfolded
fear. - Thomas Jefferson
.

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