Re: Encouraging play and books- was:Re: Rude or am I expecting too much?

blue wrote:

We have wondered if we wasted our money on "big" birthdays and Christmases, all those toys. We aren't considering not getting her anything but we think we are going to cut way back and she probably won't even notice. ??? Is this normal for a 2-3 year old? Others I have seen her age come over and are all over her toys playing, she even goes to their homes with news toys and doesn't play much. She loves to play with the kid, it's the *objects* and material things she doesn't care much about.

It's *very* normal. Part of it is probably personality,
and part of it is a very normal response to over-abundance.

She is sort of the same way about books, she is not too interested or attached. Now THIS disappoints me, though I don't show it. I was never in daycare or preschool but I was reading before kindergarten (and writing basic words), and LOVED to read in elementarty and junior high. How can I get DD to sit still to be read to, and play??? Technically she will be 2 and a half in early November. She is smart as a whip and loves people. Her pediatrician says she has the vocabulary and sentence structure of the average 4 year old. Her fine motor skills are a little above average as well...her people skills seem to be better than mine, as she is not shy, and doesn't seem to ne sensitive or prone to hurt feelings- lol.

How she feels about being read *to* is in no way a
guaranteed indicator of how she'll feel about reading by
herself once she's able to do it.

But because she is so smart, I want to get her into books, and I want the experience of reading to her a lot-- instead of her sitting on my lap babbling and trying to wriggle away and not paying the book a bit of attention. She does LIKE books just seems not to want to sit still. But wouldn't you know she loves to calm down before bed by watching those droning Baby Einstein videos..she'll watch for an hour while dozing off.

The fastest way to turn her off books is to push
them too much when she's in a very normal developmental
stage where she's not too keen on sitting still to be read
to for longer periods of time.

So anyway I have subscribed her to Baby Bug and LadyBug magazines (expensive!) which have not arrived yet but she does love to thumb through things and talk about what she sees. Oh yes........she also doesn't play with Playdough "right"- she opens it up, tears it off into tiny chunks and leaves it to dry instead of trying to build or mush it. She won't color either, with crayons. She prefers to scribble a big jumble with markers. Any tips on harnessing her in? lol...she is obviously very bright...I am not an experienced parent at all, she is my only, so what I want to know- is this her personality? Or is it her age and it could change when she's 4 or 5? Or is it fairly common? What is this??

It's very common. It is probably caused in some part
by her personality, but she could easily be very different a
couple years down the road. Relax.

I wonder if part of it is this: I was overjoyed to have her, and am giving her MY dream childhood.

Yep.

I get her anything she shows interest in and don't push my interests on her..I was a tomboy but I did love to role play with baby dolls and feed and dress and "parent" them. She has no interest in baby dolls, so after the first one she doesn't like, I don't buy her any of that. She likes to brush Barbie dolls hairs and loves those so I am buying her quite a collection of those for when she's old enough.

...by which time she won't enjoy them anymore.

I loved books, so I buy a ton of good books. Since pregnancy I have had her the usual goodies- Goodnight Moon, Sandra Boyton's silly ones, etc. I buy her Play Dough and just all the stuff that I would be in heaven for. I am giving her my dream childhood. But I make sure to respond to what she shows interest in. Anything she likes, I'll get it for her...have I made her take it for granted?

If not, you're well on your way. You might enjoy
reading a book called _How Much is Enough?_: http://tinyurl.com/f8dhz
What you're doing is understandable, but you may well find that
it causes more problems than it's worth in the long run.

Best wishes,
Ericka
.

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