Re: Rude or am I expecting too much?

eliz_reid@xxxxxxxxx wrote:
toypup wrote:
<eliz_reid@xxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:1158161231.169350.198940@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I've had a lot of trouble coming up with reasonable and effective
consequences for this behavior, especially where simple hellos and
goodbyes are concerned. At least where presents are concerned, he
knows he can't keep the present unless he delivers an appropriate thank
you, although this doesn't help in cases where the present isn't
something he wants in the first place.

I did have an incident when we were visiting IL's. Those visits tend to
wear the kids out, because we are somewhere everyday. We visited some
friends of their family and he was given a football. It was time to leave
and he was very tired and grumpy and said he didn't like it -- wouldn't
aplogize, wouldn't say thank you. I don't spank. Other than taking away
his priveleges from him, I wasn't sure of a good course of action for him.
Taking away priveleges doesn't seem to work very well. He occasionally gets
in such a mood where he is rude to visitors or hosts. At home, we can send
him to his room. That's not a good solution when the guest is leaving and
we are trying to get him to say goodbye, as it is hurtful to the guest. Any
suggestions?

None from me.. but I sympathize, the hardest cases are 1) when the
present isn't desired, 2) there aren't any "good" presents associated
with it to threaten to withhold, and c) it's in a high-pressure
situation where removal from the scene isn't practical. I have to
admit, I was just thinking that probably the traditional punishment for
this kind of thing is spanking, since it's really hard to come up with
a natural consequence for failing to thank for undesirable presents
from people you rarely see. I don't spank either, but I'm at a loss
for something else to do.

Well, I don't necessarily believe that the only consequences of a
child's actions have to naturally flow from that action. In this case,
however, I would caution my child that he would not be permitted to
receive *any* presents until he was able to demonstrate that he could
accept *all* presents -- whether or not particularly desired --
gracefully.

Barbara

.

Relevant Pages

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