Trouble with Grandma?



I just found out from a friend that MIL is upset. (MIL was talking to her
neighbour who talks to my friend that I talked to)

MIL said something to the neighbour along the lines of that she felt or
thinks that *I* won't leave the kids (DS is 5, DD is 1) at her house because
she wasn't good enough. I take the kids often enough to my parents' place,
my aunt's... I hardly leave them at MIL's house, but MIL has come over here
to babysit on a rare occasion.

I had kind of an emergency situation on Friday night and declined her offer
to keep the kids there at her house. I never thought or knew she felt that
this is what I though (which I don't)
The problem is NOT that I don't like her (I do not agree with a lot of
things she says, does or thinks, but that doesn't mean I don't like or trust
her) or that she's not 'good enough' or anything like that, the problem is
her house. It's *very* child unfriendly. My house is often turned upside
down, but it's fairly child-proofed for the most part. Cleaning stuff,
medicine and poisons are kept up and locked up, anything within arm's reach
for a child is not dangerous, breakable or something that will cause injury.
We have baby gates on all the stairs and toys are easily reached at pretty
much all times. MIL's house has stuff EVERYWHERE. She really has no use to
child proof her home otherwise - there's soooo many breakable candle
holders, glass trinkets, ash trays, cords and cables (from computer, TV,
etc.) and it's really actually hard for *me* to walk around, nevermind
little ones. She keeps her cleaning supplies under the sink - common place
for that stuff in a home with no children, or older children - and there's
stairs going upstairs as well as downstairs. The door to the basement
cannot even be closed because of junk - shoes, bikes, mop buckets, full
garbage bags, bags of cans, etc.

She does not have a crib or playpen for the baby to sleep or be in, and I
don't really trust SIL's dog - dog is pretty good, but it's big and a young
dog that gets excited and isn't really used to smaller kids running around.
I also don't trust our small dog around the kids, as an animal is still an
animal, as friendly or good as it may be, it just takes once.

MIL is under the impression that she's not good enough to have the kids left
with her. It has nothing to do with her, it has everything to do with her
home being safe for children, which it is not. It's a typical home that is
best suited for her, and other adults or far older children. It's her, SIL,
SIL's new husband and DH that all live in this house, no kids.

I feel I should bring this up with her and explain it's not that I don't
like her, trust her, whatever, it's that her home is really not a place I am
comfortable leaving my kids at, due to all the potential dangers. (glass,
trinkets, cleaning supplies, stairs, etc) Should I bring this up? She has
not said anything to me directly, just to someone else. Should I just
pretend like I don't know how she feels, since she didn't say it to me, and
just ignore it? Explain maybe the next time it comes up? I really do feel
I should let her know what I really feel, and that I shouldn't wait to do
this. How should I deal with this?


.



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