Re: Prime example of why I hate other parents...

In article <1155652134.119039.229800@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, sha68
says...


I have to say I understand both sides of the children in restaurants
arguement.

I have five kids and we regularly eat in restaurants with them all. ten
years ago we had just the four all under 8 and we still took them to
restaurants both family and regular restaurants and sometimes it was ok
other it was horrible and we left. Its not so hit and miss now the
girls are 18, 15, 14, 11, and nearly 3.

Yep - doing the restaurant thing with kid, doing your best, but being willing to
leave if it's not working out is exactly the right tack to take.


But never did we forget that we were the adults at the table and not at
a family 'do' where everyone in the room had a connection and tolerance
to bad behaviour. Every person eating in any situation have a right
not to be as disturbed as far as possible, but in return should show
tolerance to the families trying to enforce good behaviour from unruly
children. I have seen families showing manners I have felt were
disgusting but also thought those kids can't learn better restaurant
manners without going out to eat.

Tolerance is a great word for this topic everyone one of us could cite
a story of bad behaviour in this type of situation and not just from
our own children but other families as well.

I've said before (maybe I should make it Banty's Life Fact of Life Number Three)
that tolerance and consideration are but two sides to the same coin. To be
considerate, one has to tolerate the changes one makes to one's own behavior or
situation for the sake of others; to be tolerant, one has to consider the
others' situations as to what they need to do that doesn't suit oneself.

When folks complains to others about tolerance or consideration, they usually
aren't getting it. Most situations require *both* from those present to some
degree or other. Some reasonable standard has to be sought. That such a
reasonable standard may not be perfectly defined, or not give perfect permission
to some folks to behave however they want, or not give perfect consideration to
some other folks who have a standard that they never be bothered, doesn't change
that it's true. Life.


I personally don't agree with young family areas within restaurants for
several reasons, the turnover of tables is so high in these areas the
cleaning is very much a quick wipe over and not I would say to a high
standard (clean table messy floor is not my idea of fun) but also I
believe that children can learn so much from circumstances and
enviroment that eating in normal areas or 'posher' restaurants is a key
part of table manner teaching and social graces.

I hate the kiddie ghetto for both those reasons. I don't care for the
concentrated kids, which is even worse for the "permission" for poor behavior
some parents think it means. Even when my own kid was small! And he'd never
learn decent behavior in that kind of segregated situation.


I think as parents we can be blinkered to how our famillies look when
out in public i look at my children and on the whole they look to me
well behaved with good manners but that is by my standards other people
may see them as brats with manners of swine. While I think my view is
the only one that really counts I do try to see my world in the way
others do. When I look in so to speak at my family we are quite loud,
not screaming but boystrus (hope thats spelt right) we debate and laugh
and generally enjoy our company but how many others have we disturbed
by just being ourselves????

Maybe not. Mirth is different from other kinds of disruption. It's just that,
just because that family or couple over there is laughing, doens't mean those
babies on those other two tables are OK to scream. It's not all or nothing.

Banty


--

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5222154.stm
.

Relevant Pages

  • Re: Prime example of why I hate other parents...
    ... I have five kids and we regularly eat in restaurants with them all. ... a family 'do' where everyone in the room had a connection and tolerance ... I don't think that being loud even with laughter is acceptable. ...
    (misc.kids)
  • Re: TRIP REPORT - OUR BREAK DAY
    ... I noticed a greater abundance of women wearing ... it is one of the few restaurants at WDW where I feel that I'm not paying a "captive audience" price. ... My wife, who is *never* satisfied with a host's or hostess' first seating offering, insisted we be moved and they put us in the bow with a great view. ... I really don't know if they intended it to be the "kids" section, but our granddaughter was with us and everyone else in that section had kids. ...
    (rec.arts.disney.parks)
  • Re: Healthy School Dinners and Attentiveness
    ... as "The Naked Chef" I wasn't much of a fan. ... management, the education department, the kids, the "dinner ... eventually work in top restaurants around the world. ... all of whom have bad diets. ...
    (alt.support.diabetes)
  • Re: Tipping on cruise - please off some advice
    ... for a 4 night cruise. ... most restaurants in the US. ... We travel with two kids and have cruised many times with them. ... Cruising offers a great family vacation. ...
    (rec.travel.cruises)
  • Re: kid-free restaurant, good idea?
    ... restaurants than the fast food or diner type. ... or throwing food or the like, ... there are already a lot of kids in there. ... is an illustration of "parents can tune out their kids' noise easier ...
    (rec.sport.football.college)