Re: Moving with a young toddler?




"Donna Metler" <dmmetler@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote in message
news:XBuCg.8178$Nx4.7928@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We're in the final stretches of our move to our new house, and in general
our 20 month old has held up well. She seems to get that we're packing
things and taking them to the new house (some of her things have moved
already, specifically for this reason), knows the new house is where the
park is, she has a shoe box to pack and repack and label as I'm packing,
talks to her stuffed dragon about moving, etc. We've read books and talked
through the process.

But, I'm not sure how to handle the logistics of two houses, a moving
truck,
moving crew, and a toddler on the coming moving day. I expect that we'll
probably want to have a family member at each end to deal with logistics.
I'm guessing that it will take more than one trip, since I doubt they'll
send a super-big truck for a local move of 30 miles or so.

So, the options I see are-set up a safe place for DD at either or both
house
with some toys, her lovey, etc where she won't be in the way and spend as
much time with her between flurries of activity as possible, possibly with
one of the teens from church to play with her and reassure her when mom or
dad isn't present,

or

Send her to spend the day with a playgroup buddy and bring her back when
things are done.

I'm not sure which would be better for her psychologically. I'm sure in
the
short term, she'd be happier during the day playing at someone else's
house,
but would it be better for her to be part of the process or just be out of
it? And, if we keep her with us, would it be better for her to be able to
see things loaded on the truck, since we've been talking about this for
weeks, or to see things coming in and getting set up? Also, would a third
adult be helpful or just an extra body to deal with on an already
stressful
day?


Anyone have any opinions? (besides joining me in wishing someone would
invent the Star Trek transporter technology)?

I have yet to read what others have said so far, but I wanted to reply with
my own opinion and all that before finding someone had a good point or
something that I wouldn't have thought of on my own... ;)

First off, we moved last September, but the kids were 4 and a half, 5 and a
half and 3 weeks old. We moved within the city, and really, it wasn't that
far - about a 10 minute drive and didn't require moving trucks, movers,
etc., and did it all on our own with my parents' truck, SIL's truck and DH's
buddy from work's truck. To help us was my parents, brothers for one day,
our 2 friends, SIL and her now husband, MIL and DH's buddy from work. What
we did for our move was let the men do the work. The guys drove the trucks
in rotation - one was at the new place being unloaded, one was at the old
place being loaded and the last was on its way to or from locations. The
women and children stayed at the old place to pack boxes, get boxes to the
door for the guys to haul out and clean. Sent the boys outside to play with
the neighbourhood kids and kept them out of the way. For us, they didn't
really care so much - we moved from being next door to MIL, so they knew
we'd be back to visit with their old friends when we went to see Grandma,
and they were excited to each pick their own bedrooms (and pick wich one
would be for their sister) when I went alone with the kids to view and check
out the new place.
I, personally, would get any and all kids out of my hair for moving. At 20
months, I don't think she really cares so much about moving and I don't
think she's going to be forever scarred over a move. Chances are, as much
of your little angel that she is, she will get in the way. Keep her at one
location the entire day - be it the old place, the new place, a friend or
family member's house, and have someone to keep an eye on her at all times
to allow you to focus on the movers and what needs to be done. What you
DON'T need is for a mover to be carrying a sofa out and trip on DD, turn
around to figure some minor detail out and realize you have a runaway baby
that's gone missing...

I don't know your situation as far as how much help you have for friends and
family, but I would guess that you just need one. Even if it's a teenager
that could help you out from your church, go for it. I just find little
ones of all ages are useless for moving and add more stress... They get
tired, cranky, maybe need a nap, need lunch, get bored with sitting on the
floor with set out toys... Allow her to help once the movers are gone and
all your stuff is at the new house, since then she can get a bit more
familiar with what's going on in a less stressful and possibly dangerous
situation. My opinion is that you just don't need the extra worry of a
toddler while moving. With moving, I've found that if you're not useful,
you're a pain. If you can't put yourself to work with doing something
productive (packing, hauling, cleaning) then get out of my way and don't
make more work for me. That's just my 2¢ from our experience of moving with
2 kindergarden kids and a newborn!

Now, on to read the other replies and maybe add more of my 2¢ there ;)


.



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