Re: Rough playing children

On 28 Jun 2006 02:30:52 GMT, Beth Kevles <kevles@xxxxxxx> wrote:

Hi --

At my children's school, the kids are taught to "debug" the problem.
The steps are:

Ignore the problem.
Walk away from the problem.
Talk friendly to the child who is a problem.
If that doesn't work, talk firmly.
If none of these work, find an adult to help.

Children should NEVER hit back (in this country) because when you hit
back, you lose the (legal) high ground. THat is, it becomes possible
that your children will be punished as well as, or even instead of, the
aggressive child.

One thing your child can do is to tell the aggressive child, "I don't
like it when you hit. If you keep hitting when you play, I don't want
to play with you any more." This can be effective if the child simply
doesn't realize that the rough play is bothering other kids.

If the problem is bullying, however, the approach to take should be to
enlist the help of other adults (ie teachers at the school). No good
school permits bullying. If your school isn't a good one in this
respect, then it's time to bring in some good anti-bullying strategies
and see that the school takes the issue seriously.

I hope these suggestions help!

Certainly yes, it is nice to have a real life perspective on what
actually goes on.

I definitely like the idea of children saying (to aggressive players)
that they would not play with them, and following up on it. Today I
decided to end their play for that reason.

I am somewhat confused as to practicality of never hitting back, I
have doubts that it works in real life, even in this country. I have
much to learn.

i

.

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