Re: Sleep and older children


Ericka Kammerer wrote:
Of course. What I meant is that while we do not sign
up for Saturday morning swimming lessons, or any other
Saturday activity, on a regular basis, the activities they
do have require occasional weekend commitments which we
do not control the scheduling for. So, yes, they could
stop the activity all together, but we do not have an
option to do the activity while still keeping all weekends
free of commitments.

Yes, that's what I mean, you could stop the activity all together. It
is a choice. 'Course, as I said, I just signed us up for swim team
again which will require Saturday swim meet commitments. But I'm now
rethinking the tennis because it'll likely conflict with swim meets.
Hmmm...


Well, based on what I can see coming down the pike, not
much will change. They will likely have activities to do and
friends they wish to socialize with, and those things will most
likely be primarily in the afternoon. Unless I greatly miss
my guess, they won't suddenly need a lot less sleep, yet their
school will start earlier. Thus, I rather suspect we won't be
able to push bedtimes a lot later.

I think the point you are still missing is that even if you keep the
bedtime as it is now, once they hit the teen years, they will very
likely not be able to fall asleep before 11 pm. Even *if* they are
getting up earlier, and even if they need more sleep. So you'll have
two teens tossing and turning in bed, trying to get to sleep,
unsuccessfully, for a couple of hours. And I can tell you that really
is a set-up for insomnia.


Therefore, we will likely
be in the same situation we are now: afternoons likely booked
with non-family time and not a whole lot of time left after
dinner. So, if we want to go out and do stuff as a family,
mornings will probably still be the more likely time to do it.

Regardless of anything else, DH will still have a life
that generally involves getting up at a reasonable hour in
the morning to go to work (and sleeping late on the weekends
throws his schedule out of kilter) and I will still have
demands on my time that require me to get moving in the morning,
so neither of us are likely to have the luxury of sleeping
until late for the forseeable future. And again, I don't have
any objection to the kids sleeping in a bit on the weekend,
but we'll continue to have to get going for church on Sunday
mornings, and I firmly believe that sleeping until noon on
Saturday when you have to get up much earlier the rest of
the week just makes things worse, not better. So, they're
welcome to sleep in a bit, but I seriously doubt we'll find
it workable to have weekend mornings as a time for sleeping.

Talk to me in 3 or 4 years. :-)


I have no idea about you and your daughter. For me
and my kids, having them awake for several hours after I
went to bed (as in the hypothetical 4am-1pm sleep schedule)
would not be adequate supervision, and I rather suspect that
will be true when they're 13 as well. Could be wrong, but
I just don't imagine that I'll feel comfortable with them
up that many hours with the rest of the house out cold.

Yep, as I said, I have had to learn to get comfortable with it this
year as our reality is shifting with a teen in the house. I would not
be comfortable with DD11 being awake late at night - by herself or with
her sister. She's a different age, and has different supervision
requirements.

Which is fine for you and your daughter. I have no
argument with extending privileges as maturity and responsibility
dictate. You just asked what else could be going on "after
hours" and I gave some examples. They may not be relevant
for you and your family, but they surely are for a number
of families out there going by the number of acquaintances
who have been dealing with late night surfing and calling
and roving.

In which case, yes, a parent needs to restrict such privileges. Not an
issue here because so far she has proven trustworthy following the
house rules.



Yep. That's why the 11yo is still sharing a room
with the 8yo. He can have the downstairs bedroom in a
year or two, but not before we get the window alarmed,
because that's two floors away and I wouldn't be able
to hear someone sneaking out (or in).
That's also why the
toddler's door has a toddler lock on it so she can't get out
and the doors out of the house are toddler-proofed. I don't
particularly want to find her on the street at 2am, which,
given her personality, is a real possibility.

EEK!

A few weeks ago, the girls' 18 month old sister woke up in the middle
of the night, climbed out of her crib, went downstairs, grabbed DD's
cell phone, punched a bunch of numbers, and called me on my cell which
is preprogrammed in. Worrisome, but also very cute. :-)


Never said one should, only that one needs to
be aware of the possibilities and plan for them based
on the personality/responsibility/maturity of the
individual child and the rest of the situation. Given
your daughter's personality and your environment, it
may be completely reasonable for her to be up until
dawn while you snooze. For others, it may be unreasonable
to have teens up so late after they're in bed.

Nah, up until dawn is pushing it. Except on occasion for slumber
parties or to see the meteor showers. But we don't allow slumber
parties on nights when we need to get up early the next day.

jen

.

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